2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

FUCK YOU VIDEO GAMES PT. 1

I am starting a list of games that are too hard to play. And not one of those, “I got stuck at a point but I figured out how to beat that guy and now I am on the last level/finished the game”. Because that is like fucking most games. This is one of those, I’VE FUCKING TRIED EVERYTHING AND EVEN RESTARTED THE GAME WITH DIFFERENT TACTICS ONLY TO FIND MYSELF AT THE SAME/SIMILAR POINT OF FAILURE WHICH MAKES ME RAGE. SO HARD. SORRY FOR THE YELLING AND CAPS BUT I FELT THIS WAS THE WAY TO ENSURE I GOT THE MESSAGE OF MY RAGE AND ANGER ACROSS.

An easy game can actually be relaxing. You know you can beat it so you just go through the motions. Some people find this boring. What I find boring is not the difficulty but what I’m actually doing in a game which can be running around, shooting and killing enemies in a generic FPS.

But a game that is too hard? I don’t appreciate those types of challenges in my life. Let me mash keys or buttons on my controller until it says I win and have finished the game.

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Serious Sam: The Random Encounter
I am third level in and no matter what weapon I choose or item I use, I always die. I can only dodge attacks by going up or down on the screen. What happens to attacks that are shot up and fall down on the screen? You have no way of dodging them. I have played a shitload of shumps that were hard but at least you could always dodge the bullets. I have tried and tried. I knew I was in trouble when I started dying way too quickly on level 2. A gun that can attack at a distance is too weak. A gun that is powerful or attacks closely does not reload quick enough to kill of the wave of enemies.
To summarise, your weapons are largely ineffective and you have nowhere to dodge attacks. Fuck this, I am going to go play Plants Vs Zombies.

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Magicka
You’re a wizard. You have to go beat the bad guy ’cause he did some bad shit. Yep, I got it. You have 8 different types of magic. And you can combine 5 of them to make a really cool attack move. You have a close attack sword which gets progressively better but it doesn’t seem to make dick all difference how good it is because ultimately if they got that close in the first place, you’re fucked. It’s a last resort.
I got a fair way into this game before I got to this section where you have to beat wizards who are not only just as powerful as you, they are a lot quicker at finding an attack which combats yours ultimately leading to button bashing to make your attacks change so frequently, they don’t have time to work out how to counter attack you. And each of the 8 types of magic are a key on the keyboard which means I am gunna have to know my keyboard like I know masturbating: pretty fucking good. It became one-sided and just downright unfair. Fuck this, I am going to go play Peggle.

What I hate more than hard games are arseholes who say it was too easy to beat. Fucking gets me so fucking pissed.

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5 Reasons Why I Hate/Love Skyrim

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1. As great as the game is, it’s totally overrated.
2. It creates dumb unfunny memes.
3. There are better games even though kids can’t stop talking about it. Good game? Yes. Great game? Yes. Greatest game ever? No. Fucking get over yourselves children and move on with your lives.
4. Technically, for a 6GB game to be as open as it is even with glitches it has, is amazing. I’ve installed several racing games and Rage which have been anywhere FROM 6GB to 21GB in a fresh install and still been linear.

5.
☑ Saddam Hussein
☑ Osama Bin Laden
☑ Khaddafi
☑ Kim Jong Ill
☐ People Who Think Justin Bieber Is So Much a Threat They Want to Kill Him
☐ Arseholes who out bid me on ebay at the very last second
☐ People who think Skyrim Memes are Funny

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SMiLE For the World

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“Hey honey, what is wrong? You look upset.”
“I’m just feelin sad, Dad.”
“Oh, well I have something that will fix that right up.”

WALLAH! This picture is fucking hilarious. My favourite part is the use of an Asian girl. The years of being oppression are being oppressed even further with this gadget. Fucked shit could be happening around her, and there she goes smiling on the world.

Whether she wants to or not.

Mostly not.

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