2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

Just Cause It Says You’re a Windows IT Pro, Does Not Mean Your Arguments Are Valid.

I found this entry that was written by some clown who believes he is an Windows IT Pro. The whole thing is a waste of time if you simply want to read paragraphs on why Google is so fucking evil with Android. I read it all to the end in hope that there was some substantial evidence or something new and interesting he could tell me that I didn’t know about the device, but this wanker offered hate mongering on Android. Argh, I guess I am just pissed ’cause I wasted my fucking time.
Although, this guy seems to phrase it better.

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The Worst Case of Blue Balls I Have Ever Seen

I don’t know how I missed this one, but there is this story of a guy with a 45KG scrotum.

A LAS Vegas man with a medical condition that has caused his scrotum to swell to more than 45kg is trying to raise $US1 million for surgery to correct it.

The guy suffers from scrotal elephantiasis and Elephantitus which is what people mis-read that as. Elephantitus is what I have where your dick is enormous (with no mention of balls in there). Anyway, scrotal elephantiasis can only happen by a whole bunch of fucked shit happens all at one time. It starts off with a parasitic worm which is carried by mosquito comes and it’s not the worm itself but rather the bacteria that infects but and then the body reacts to it incorrectly. These other the other factors that cause you to have this:
* It has to be a full moon
* You then kick midget
* Eat some skittles
* Fuck a fish (like a boss)
* Save the world
* Get Breast milk from a Cambodian immigrant
* Put off sex for what I can only assume is 20 or so years without a wank

Once you have ticked off that list, BLAMMO! You end up with this fucked shit.
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Scrotal Elephantiasis

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A Middle Finger to Technology in a Non-Technophobic Way

In a way, this entry is dedicated to Boggs and you will find out why a little further down. I am looking at upgrading my computer very shortly as my current computer has a mouse running on a wheel for a CPU. And before you say anything yes, the chip I currently have in there is a Dorito / I wax my modem to make it go faster / I’m usin’ a 286 don’t make me laugh / My Windows boots up in a day and a half? / I could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette / I’m the biggest joke on the Internet / You got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide / Mine says “Etch-A-Sketch” on the side..etc.

My computer has lasted 3 years and it feels like it could probably last another year or two but everything I am asking it to do is just too slow. Plus, we’re now at a stage where everything technically in the machine has been far superseded many times over. But, then it got me thinking, what were (and perhaps still in production) the worst computers ever built? And why stop there? Why not just technology in general?
[Read More…]

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Off the hook…

I was supposed to go to a bucks party last night but since it was my mother-in-laws 50th, and I planned on getting laid by my wife again in this lifetime, I went to that instead. It’s one of those little compromises you make as a couple. That, and if I didn’t go, I’d be sleeping on the grass. Or on a couch somewhere.

I woke up this morning feeling fine as I didn’t go too out of control with the drinking but felt things at the bucks party were probably off the hook. If I had gone, I would have had way too much and be currently curled up in a ball, crying while it felt like demons are fighting in my stomach between the gamble that is dry reaching and the need to take a shit at the same time. On top of that, I would be generally feeling sorry for myself and have an unnatural craving for food so greasy, it would give me heart disease just by looking at it.

But then my wife gets a picture on the facebooks of how the party looked at 2AM:
offthehook.jpg
Yeah, man…off the hook. ¬_¬
…and wait a minute. Is it me or does the guy on the right hand side look like he’s pissed himself? Maybe it WAS off the hook last night.

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Your IT Helpdesk

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As an IT technician, this ultimately how I feel about those people I help. (Thank Rage viewer!)

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