2 Inches Of Fury

This is what is meant in Australia when we say there is too much crack on the streets…

I am not sure what Tim was looking at before he got onto this but he sent me this via MSN:

An adult penis with an erect length of less than 7 cm or just over 2 inches but otherwise formed normally is referred to in a medical context as having the micropenis condition. The condition affects 0.6% of men.[18] Some of the identifiable causes are deficiency of pituitary growth hormone and/or gonadotropins, mild degrees of androgen insensitivity, a variety of genetic syndromes, and variations in certain Homeobox genes. Some types of micropenis can be addressed with growth hormone or testosterone treatment in early childhood. Operations are also available to increase penis size in cases of micropenis in adults.

You fucking disturb me sometimes, Tim. I don’t even want to know the rest of your browsing habits if this is what you believe is safe to send to me. But then I thought, “A real condition, hey? Let’s punch that shit into Google Images…” and here they are:



I don’t know why that last one turned up when searching Google Images for “Micropenis” but I thought it would be less vomit-inducing than looking at ridiculously tiny cocks all day.

Kogan are an online store and there has been a lot of talk about their prices for iPads. My wife wants one because she feels it will do some magical task that no other device will do. And since it beats buying the puppy she wants, I’ll consider this as an option.

The whole site looks legit. However, some basic research simply indicates they get the cheapest prices by directly importing from Hong Kong and through some loophole are not paying GST on any of the products. I’ve bought from Hong Kong before. The first thing I’d check (apart from the overall feel of the device) is whether it’s an iPad or an iPaad / iPead / iPd. It would seem that the savings (depending on which model you got) is roughly $100. But then you add delivery and you might be saving yourself $60, maybe. And then I read this and even if it weren’t true, are you willing to take the gamble for a $60 saving? If you can afford to buy an iPad in the first place, you can afford to buy it through a retail store for that little bit extra in full knowledge that your warranty is honored. Even though their website says 12 Month Worldwide Apple Warranty, you just need to look a little deeper to find out that it is only honored at Kogan-approved apple resellers. It makes no mention of who they actually are.

Then I read this annoyingly long and tedious entry about Kogan. People are asking all sorts of questions in an effort to make a mountain out of a mole hill. There was even discussions about where the money is going after it is fucking spent and the GDP which I couldn’t give a flying monkey shit about or will they ship the Australian electrical plug if they’re coming from Hong Kong. For fucks sake, really? You couldn’t save yourself an extra $100 (theoretically) and then go down to the shop afterwards and pick up an adapter up for $10? Lazy cunts.

If they weren’t delivering on what they were promising, wouldn’t there be far more signs like say, if you typed “Is kogan legit” into Google and the first thing you read is a blog or website where 100s of people are saying they didn’t get their device after paying for it? Not to mention the site would have been shut down way before now if it was pulling this sort of scam. I am not going to bash Kogan. I think what they have done is clever. As a consumer, OF COURSE you would pay less for something if you could. Even if that meant the company has found some loophole to piss companies like Apple right off. If you want to use it, that is up to you. Me personally? Not worth the risk. This sort of stunt is usually pulled by fly-by-nighters - here today, gone tomorrow. This is actually the first time I’ve even heard about this site. I’d be more interested to come back to this site in a year’s time and see how they’re doing then if they’re still around.

The whole thing I love about this more than anything is how pissed off Apple have become over how they got the price down in Australia. Who is it ultimately hurting if we save $100 on our precious iPads? Well, not Apple. They have enough money to get America out of their national debt. Our own economy? Maybe. It is only one item. Saving between 15-16%. It wouldn’t be the end of us, so people need to stop pretending like it is.

As much as I love this country, this is how I feel about the people who inhabit it.

Diwali is a festival of lights in India. ‘Cause fireworks are too expensive. And everyone can get involved. India’s electricity bill for this specific time is through the fucking roof. The most purchased product during this time? Dolphin torches and tea light candles. Oh, and curry.

So, anyway there was this picture placed on facebook. And people thought it was real. But turns out it’s not. HOLY SHIT! You mean, everything on the Internet might not be REAL? No way.
The only deal between this fake pic and the 1000s of other fake pics, is this wasn’t really funny. But, if you take a picture of yourself giving a thumbs up with a goofy smile and photoshop yourself next to popular figures in history (i.e. Dave Chappelle, Superman, Aquaman, Bob Dylan, Denzel Washington and his brother, George Washington the President), that shit is hilarious.
Or photos of photoshopped penis’ onto everything.
Or photos of people getting caught masturbating.
Or putting animals where people were in a photo. Gary Larson made a living out of it.
Or downloading a whole bunch of demotivational pictures and posting them as your own.

Oh, and THIS is the photo people believed was about Diwali:

See above: the USA.

http://eatmysharts.com/
C’mon, click it. It only lasts a minute.
Or forever.
Depending on how long you want to view it.
Or not at all. It’s your call.

You’re my wonderwall.

Want to see something a bit freaky?
The YoubulTubes has a camera on the annual Islamic ritual of the Hajj in Mecca, Saudi Arabia, and will broadcast the epic proceedings.

The Hajj is the pilgrimage to Mecca, Saudi Arabia. It is one of the largest pilgrimage in the world, and is the fifth pillar of Islam, a religious duty that must be carried out at least once in their lifetime by every able-bodied Muslim who can afford to do so. The Hajj is a demonstration of the solidarity of the Muslim people, and their submission to Allah.
The pilgrimage occurs from the 8th to 12th day of Dhu al-Hijjah, the 12th and last month of the Islamic calendar. Because the Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar, eleven days shorter than the Gregorian calendar used in the Western world, the Gregorian date of the Hajj changes from year to year. Ihram is the name given to the special spiritual state in which Muslims live while on the pilgrimage.

The first word that comes to mind is cult. I didn’t think they would want anyone to stream this ritual out to everyone. But, when I think about it, it would be beneficial in helping recruit people in Muslim. While they walk around, they seem to wave at the cameras which is welcoming. The shit that they are saying over the PA sounds both serious and scary. Not in the ignorance sense of I don’t know what the fuck they’re saying and it scares me but the way that it is being delivered. There is a strength in his voice in one sentence but in the next could have this, emotion-filled quiver in it. I’d love to know what it is he is citing, what are the actual words and the meaning.

Malcolm X, an American human rights activist, describes the sociological atmosphere he experienced at Hajj as follows,”There were tens of thousands of pilgrims, from all over the world. They were of all colors, from blue-eyed blondes to black-skinned Africans. But we were all participating in the same ritual…

It sounds better when Henry Rollins says it:

That’s right, all we need a Ramones Block Party to end all of our problems. I’d prefer to listen to the Ramones than to walk around in circles for days.

It was only a matter of time. They have released the i’mwatch. You can see a video of it here. It does everything you could possibly want in a watch - email, SMS, facebook, twitter, weather, host your email contacts on a high res screen. Oh, and it will tell you the time, too. But that is only in the updated revision. Since a watch is joined to your wrist which is joined to your hand, it will literally give you a handjob if you so desire. You just have to wear one while stroking it. Which is what it feels like the makers of the video were doing when they made that video.