2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

Combining My Two Favourite Things

And those two favourite things are being a nerd and twitter.
You guys know how much I live for Twitter, right?
How self-important I need to feel and communicate with the rest of the world at every point of my day even if nothing is going on.
Anyway, some guy went and made a Twitter client for a Commodore64.
I wish I was shitting you.
I thought in this day and age the only place you’d find a Commodore64 is in a museum right next to Dinosaur bones.

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Buying Gadgets

If you are looking to buy some kind of gadget, there is a website out there for you.
It’s called Static Ice.
I emailed this link to myself along time ago and only recently could be fucked doing an entry for it.
I wonder how long it is before sites like youtube are superceded by something else and all the videos I have linked on my website no longer work deeming at least half of my entries no longer valid.
Well, as long as this site is still up and running, this will not be one of them.

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Cancer

http://www.news.com. … frfro0-1225767782851
New breathalyser can test for lung cancer
I found this story both funny in a dark way and interesting.
You can see how it would go down: Getting pulled over by the cops and having a conversation go something like this:
Cop: Excuse me sir, can I get you to blow into this. …Ok, sir you have failed the test.
You: Why is that, ossifer?
Cop: ‘Cause you blew my cock. And you are that drunk even my cock is now suffering from drinkers droop.

Or this:
Cop: Excuse me sir, can I get you to blow into this…”
You breathe into the breathalyser.
Cop: ” …Ok, sir you are fine to go.”
You: Phew, good to hear.”
Cop: Oh, and by the way sir, you have lung cancer. You knew that though, right?”
You: Um, no.”
Cop: Ok, uncomfortable.”

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Merton / Ben Folds and ChatRoulette

Yeah yeah, I am catching up with the wave of fashion (mix by Regurgitator).
There is this dude with a piano called Merton and he goes on Chatroulette.com and sings them completely ad-libbed songs about whatever he sees. For the most part, they are funny.




So, you’re thinking what we’re all thinking - that dude looks like Ben Folds from Ben Folds Five. I didn’t pick it up straight away because I am slow but my brother said it. Anyway, Ben Folds saw this Merton dude and went, “Holy crap, this guy looks like me and plays piano, too. Must be my twin brother from birth. I bet we are made from the same set of sperm. I bet I can take his idea and make it bigger.” And he did in front of 2000-odd people.
Erm, not having sex, but the whole ChatRoulette.com thing.

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Kassem G Cops 2 Inches

If anyone hasn’t caught up on them youtubes lately, there is a dude called Kassem G. Very funny stuff.
California on Sex:


California on Drugs:


California on Spring Break:

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David

http://www.27bslash6.com/
Funny site.

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…And Now For Something Completely Different

Enough with the rants…temporarily.
Here, have some Dave Clark Five from Circa 1964:


The most interesting thing about the Dave Clark Five is in 1964, they were the closest thing to rivaling the Beatles. The difference being, everyone knows who the Beatles are. Most people go, “The Dave who?”
I believe it was John Lennon who pronounced the band to be “Bigger than God”. I think he meant in general knowledge of existance and not being bigger than God physically which would be a never-ending debate on how big God really was. Ya know…if he actually existed.




As psychedelic music ensured, British invasion was pushed to the side and the Dave Clark 5 couldn’t keep up - shame, really.

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Raped

The cops and government worked together today to rape $100 out of my pocket.
How?
Parked in a no standing zone. The long and the short is I didn’t see the sign when I parked there. It is almost like someone stuck the sign up during the day and by early afternoon the car was still there so they put a fine on my windsheild.
I guess I’d be less pissed off if I knew what a no standing zone is and how does one define a no standing zone. I obviously don’t mean, they stuck a sign along the side of the street which says, “No standing” and that means it’s a no standing zone. How do you go about making a no standing zone? Why are they there? I can imagine the need to have one in an area like the city where morons park and it prevents a business from continuing to operate because cars and trucks can’t get in and out or in a circumstance where this would block the road (instead of forking the scrilla to park in a parking building). But where this no standing zone was on a street that had residential on one side and a big wall dividing the work site and residential. I parked against the wall and this was a dead end street and massive. Could fit easily 2…maybe 3 cars passed my car on this corner parked behind a ute. I must have seen the ute and thought, “Ah, ok should be fine to park here then.” ‘Cause if the ute could park there surely I could too. Fucking WRONG.
I guess I would be less pissed off if it was not the series of events which preluded to this event. I work at various sites around Brisbane for a massive project which is going on at the moment. This particular site is usually fucked for parking. It was never this bad but it seems every passing week, it gets fucking worse. It used to be ok by 7:30AM to find a park but now by that stage, you might (just maybe) get a street park. They have a sectioned off an area for site staff to park which is a fucking joke. It’s about 1m² (not literally but it might as well) and the only sort of people who park in there are those who have no respect for their cars and expect some sort of damage at the end of the day. Tetris and Jenga experts park their cars in there at their own risk.
You can park on site if you have a sticker and work their on a regular basis and be someone of importance. I guess importance is subjective. I treat everyone I serve on these projects all the same - like the uninitiated without the condescendence while keeping it simple and a positive attitude which eventually grinds down to mumbling under my breath by the end of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job.
I work with construction workers and it is amazing to see how people who actually lay concrete and build pilons and whatnot, how fucking retarded they are. It’s not about how to work computers because if they knew how to work one, I’d be out of a job and they’d take my position. They lay concrete because they are not computer technicians. They are so stupid, it borders on retardation. These are the sort of people that wander around shopping centres and positioning themselves so you can’t walk around them and only just fast enough to be unable to get around them and just slow enough to piss you right off when you want to get in, do what you need to and get the fuck out. They are the same people who buy massive 4×4 vehicles to make up for their small penis or poor performance in bed and park in just a way to block you in or leave 30CM gap between his car and yours to get out of. Being a bigger car, he has no problem because his door is up higher so he has no problems. The same drivers who cut you off and act like general pricks on the road. And they won’t take it offroad because being a 4×4, why would you want to dirty up the nice car? The car seats 5 but a regular car seats 5 people comfortably. Where has all the space gone in the 4×4?
I wish this was a joke but the same yokels which fucking shit me off are the sort who won’t read this entry or website. Firstly they won’t find it unless you are so obscure that even obscure things are too mainstream and the hicks I speak of are so mainstream, they only listen to ya know…Johnny Farnham, AC/DC or Jimmy Barnes and own 3 Holden Commodore’s from different era’s (which is not a bad thing though…right Tim?). Secondly, they need to be literate to read what I am saying. Thirdly, they won’t read this website as it is far too cultured and contains interesting topics. It really isn’t but for these plebs, it is. Oh wait. I do have a few entries on poo, so they might laugh at the photo and refuse to read the text. But it is not fair to rip on idiots, I am only venting my frustration on people as a whole. I understand the irony that without them I don’t have a job but at the same time, how fucking hard is it to get a park? ‘Can’t you morons carpool or some shit? I often wonder how they get by in life without being a burden to others which they clearly are. I live out at whoop whoop where there is more spinifex than people.
All the residents around the area of the project I am on think all of us project people are pricks, anyway. And at times with the shit we hear and read through emails, it’s no wonder. We hear about people spitting, peeing and giving the finger to locals of the area. What sort of behaviour is that? But I think what may have happened is someone from the house across the very wide road saw my car illegally parked (away and out of harm’s way might I add), rung the cops and they fucked me up. A great injustice has been done. If there weren’t such serious repercussions, I’d tell them to take the fine they gave me and shove it far up their arsehole, they can taste the plastic-coated paper. It’s one of those, need-teeth-to-bite-into-it-before-you-can-rip-the-paper types of paper. So you don’t have pricks out there try and be all big and mighty by thinking he can rip the paper up in front of the cop.
I was watching the news today as I was at the inlaws and I was still pissed at being forced to pay $100 for something so minor that it really shouldn’t register as an offence used only as a means of funds raising because cheque-jacking (aka taxing) me isn’t enough to run our city. And one of the news stories was really the news stations way of really giving an opinion by asking a series of biased questions to the everyman and showing us the opinions they want to show. And the story was about how to keep the population down in Australia, moreso Brisbane as Australia heads towards their prediction of 35 million in 20 years. Or cater for the numbers. I believe we will get to that figure sooner and this is mostly to do with immigration. As soon as K-Rud (our prime-minister for those who are not Australian who read my site) became elected back in ‘07, the flood gates opened up and we’ve had something like 35 boats turn up on our shores filled with people looking for a better life. You can’t help by sympathise with the immigrants but at the same time, you don’t want to dirty up the water in the nice clean pool you’re swimming in by having neighbours who have invited themselves all because they own floaties. You can’t help but both laugh and sigh concurrently as you just know as a cynic and having a built-in bullshit detector. Which is going off and vibrating THAT hard, 5 men have both won and lost a game of soggy sao they were playing. They link this story by talking about the ever-increasing price of housing, the state of traffic and adding to pollution. If you have more demand than supply of course everything is gunna go to shit. The problem is, is Brisbane is a desirable location filled to the brim with brainless arseholes that have worse organisation skills than the morons who park in that 1m² parking lot I was talking about before. Everyone wants to live 10 minutes from the city because the main roads are so fucked. I will concede that they are improving but still could be better and if no big changes happen anytime soon, things are only going to get far worse.

Before I wrote this entry, I was just gunna write, “Fuck cops. Got stung $100 by parking in a no zone” and submit that but I got a little carried away.

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