2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

Prophet Muhammad

‘Muhammad’ now a dirty word on South Park

South Park have been pushing buttons for as long as the show has been going. I mean, the first episode ever aired was about anal probes for fucks sake. I struggle to think of a time in South Park where it hasn’t been some obscure reference or something vulgar/extreme. I know people who love the show, I could watch with the guys and there are episodes that rate quite highly but South Park is a show that but ultimately could only watch a few episodes at a time before I start to lose interest…and fast.
I genuinely believe that at times, Parker and Stone actually tone down some of their material just like they have done here. They could have done so much worse than what they have. Then you have some Muslims cry ALLAH or whatever when someone rips on their religion. I thought I would do some research on Allah since I was going down that road, anyway and found that there are other types of Abrahamic faiths like Christians and Jews who also use the word to mean God so it is not just the Islams. Hebrew’s use the word Yahweh to mean the Lord. And if you write Allah in Islamic and you don’t put a wiggle in the right place, it takes on a totally different meaning. It means I’M A GIANT SELF-HATING FACIST RACIST HOMO WHO HATES ALLAH AND WISH DEATH TO ALL so ya know…don’t try writing it. You don’t want to give off the wrong message.

Here is how to avoid having South Park (or anyone for that matter) rip on your religion:
* Don’t make death threats whenever someone rips on your religion (as it is like the bully in the playground: it makes people feared of you but ultimately, you’re still fucking dumb, it won’t prevent everyone from continuing to do it and you are hated outside of your tiny circle)
* Take a fucking chill pill. Since you Arabs are intense, you better take 2 or 3. Here, I will send you a few boxes and take them in handfulls. Eat them like people paranoid about their breath smelling do with mints. Look, I have had 3 before I came into work today. I haven’t done any work all day ’cause I am so chilled and I am looking to be fired. Am I concerned? Nope, ’cause I am too busy chilling. And that is really what these extremists need: a hobby.
* Don’t take it so personally. When someone rips on something I like, I take it was a grain of salt that the person who just insulted what I like doesn’t know what the fuck they’re on about, anyway. I understand it is a way of life for you and guys, seriously…smile.
* Don’t bomb the US. Americans hate it when you do it and there are tonnes of them. They have guns and all sorts of weaponry that makes whatever your packing look more pathetic than bows and blunt arrows or carrying butter knives. Why Americans hate it is because it forced them to turn to their leader, Bush Jr who really didn’t know what he was doing and forced to spend millions of tax payers money to retaliate. They are in enough debt. They don’t need you to fuck up a tower or two to prove a point. We know Americans for the most part are ignorant douchebags but by doing this sort of behaviour, you are just as bad. Plus, what did you think it would achieve? Did you think you could take all 300 million of them? Did you think they would take it sitting down?

I’ve been listening to far too much Henry Rollins as of late in between playing online Tetris, reading news articles, Wikipedia and whatever else. He is continually looking for places to go for a holiday and Mr Rollins, being the open-minded kind of individual he is, he watches Fox News or Bill O’Reily say something like, “Don’t go to Pakistan because it is full of hatred and terror…” So the very first thing he thinks of is, “I need to go to Pakistan”. And he spoke to friends that said Americans are hated there and it is not a nice place, etc. Clearly THAT worked out because he went anyway. Long story short, he went, had a great time, met the locals and not once did he ever have an experience where he was being picked on for being an American. Of course, being 6′5” tall, and being built like a brick shit house, he would naturally have no problems. He’s practically Iron Man.
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See above: Henry Rollins

Anyway, Henry Rollins is into tolerance which is fantastic. He wants what he dubs the Ramones/Minor Threat Block Party where everyone gets together regardless on race, age, sexual preference and gender and just has a great time. It’s idealisitic and we all want it to happen but I see stupidity far too frequent to believe it will ever happen UNLESS there is something which will threaten all human life. Something greater than ourselves if something is out there.

I guess the statement that really drove me to uncontrollable fury was the very first comment:

Very very sad. Score another point for the terrorists.

Now if I misinterpreted this, I am sorry, but the way I read it (especially since all text lacks sarcasm) was this guy believes that because a show was unable to say a few words deeming the entire episode from…well, making sense that the terrists have won? What kind of shit is that? Why stop there? The terrorists have won if you can’t brush your teeth one night or the terrorists have won if I run out of breakfast before shopping day? The fact that this phrase was used by Bush means it is only something a moron would say. It was tapping into the psyche of gun-tottin’, patriotic nation of rednecks who love their country and have an IQ that matches the amount of teeth in their head. What happens when this episode is released on DVD completely uncensored, do the terrorist still win? Or what happens when it is released a bootlegged site? South Park is popular enough for someone to do it. Are the terrorists going to threaten the internet? Good luck to them.
It is a scare tatic to ensure that America are so preoccupied with terrorists that they have time to wake up that bigger shit is going on. Ever since the attack in 2001, have there been any other major attacks? Are there going to be more terrorists than people? Are the terrorists going to take over in numbers?
What shits me even more is 23 people liked the one sentence statement. Score another point for the terrorists? Are you fucking kidding me? Are they keeping tabs? Do they have a blackboard with a line down the middle and chalk marks on either side keeping tabs? These terrorists going, “AH HA! We fucked them up by preventing an episode of South Park to make sense. Score one, us. Now, let’s see…pentagon? Check. 2 towers? Check. South Park episode? Check. Well, that is the trifecta. Let’s see what else can get them with. Oh wait…Ted? Was the Pentagon us? Should we still mark that as one for the terrorists?” America is so wound up in its own bullshit, the rest of the world could declared world peace, already having that Ramones Block Party, and America would still believe the terrorists are out there ready to attack in a constant paranoid state.
Do you ever think the terrorists think they are the bad guys in this war on terror?

Anyway, where this all came from was an email sent to me about the latest Simpsons episode where Bart was writing something on the blackboard:
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Sunday night’s opening credits on Fox’s “The Simpsons” sent a message of support to Comedy Central’s “South Park,” which was censored by the network last week for attempting to depict the Prophet Muhammad.

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Funniest Thing Ever Happened

As told by the great David Cross:

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Review: Myself Destruction - Myself Destruction EP

Sometimes I wish I had my own label. I’d almost give it all up to have a solid label. Just so I can sign up a band just like this. It is not too often that you come across bands like this that you really want to have known. The closest comparison you can possibly make is they sound like Nofx circa ‘95. Lyrics strong, the vocals are very much fitting, they’re tight and I love singing along with their songs.
I originally did a review of this band many moons ago when I first heard them on myspace (a recommendation from Josh (Qpunx editor)) and things have changed. Not by much but there is a difference between the first time I heard them and the now which is why I decided to re-do this entire review. I also thought it would be best if I did it on a song-by-song basis.
Salad Fingers is a great start to the EP. Most of the EPs I have reviewed have had pretty powerful starts but the difference between when I first heard this band and the now is, initially this was my favourite song off the EP. And let’s face it, if your first song doesn’t blow me away (and it doesn’t always have to be the best song off the album) or at least interest me enough to continue listening, I got other bands to listen to who will.
It has a sort of slow (not boring) start before it kicks into a ska drum beat and some nice ska riffs, a nice guitar lead and you’re thinking, “This is ok…” and then …BLAMMO! It gets kicked up a notch and the volume goes to 11. Once you’ve gauged how great this song is, it is quickly followed by making a mess of yourself in the trouser department. The song does not let up the entire way from its impressive start. Not to mention a fucking great chorus. If the rest of this EP goes the same way, we have a winner.
The second track, My Day: which DJ (lead singer, bass) says is their “pop song”. It also happens to be my favourite track off the album. Starts off with nothing but drums which shortly leads into some pretty cool guitar work before it EVEN GETS BETTER. If you could take the Spinal Tap joke of 11 one step further, you would do it with this song. This song just gets me so amped, I fucking love it. I love a lot of music for whatever reason but I put this song with a few that really get me so excited, it elevates my heartbeat followed by excessive blood flow to the nether regions and a massive hard on ensues. Just so you know, this EP gets 3 stars based entirely on this song before I hear another track.
The following track, The Bet is all hormone-driven don’t-fuck-with-me-or-I-will-punch-you-in-the-face-and-get-my-friends-to-fight-your-friends. This song only has one forgiveable weak moment where they try and do a rap thing. I don’t particularly care too much for it but everything else falls in line with the rest of the EP. If you made this song 1 minute shorter without that part, this would be another perfect song.
Australia Day? is the fourth track and it has the start that is a distant relation to, “Salad Fingers” but by this stage, it is not at all exhausting or hinting lack of ideas. If anything, it demonstrates that they mix shit up and that is another tick in a long fucking list. My understanding of this song is about country pride and a nice touch for Australian audiences at the end where the singer shouts, “OZZY! OZZY! OZZY!” which we’re expected to shout, “OI! OI! OI!”. I like the fact that it has a little “Oi” in it. I know they are doing laments National Anthem but the enthusiasm, the riffs, the straight-ahead punk rawk, the backup singing…it all blends together not only seemlessly but really well.
The final track - “Showbag Sex” which is also great and never disappoints. I found the topic to be a little silly until I spoke to DJ during the weekend and he explained to me the situation of when he was young and told me the whole story which made a whole lot more sense and now it is something that only adds to the whole listening experience.

If you follow any of my previous reviews, you will know it’s fucking rare for me to dish out such a gleeming review. If you ask me what a local punk band should sound like, this is it. Punk has been unoriginal for years so lets not bullshit ourselves by tainting the pool that is great punk with other shit that doesn’t belong in there. Or make it sound so complex and unappealing, you lose the hook and my interest. Or add so much sugar with that annoying generic teenage vocal you all know which has not only been done to death, but fucks me who thought it was a good sound to begin with. It’s also a tragic way to kill killer guitar work if you find a band that rocks musically until you hear the vocals. This band doesn’t have to prove anything but they have great lead work with the hooks, suited vocals and the speed to make this a punk EP definately worth recommending. I really look forward to their future releases, let’s hope they don’t fuck it up.
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Fax Spam

Fuck, I wish I was kidding. I really do.
I work in IT. Before you instantly dismiss everything else I have to say with no credibility, you have to know that fact for the rest of this story makes sense. I got a job that came through months ago saying, “I got some fax spam, how do we stop it?” So I called up the very lovely lady who logged the job and asked her if she kept it and if she did, to send it through.
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Firstly, it can not be stopped. I didn’t even know that such a thing existed. I get spam in my email all the time for some dodgy blue pills they will give me a boner forever and promise I will grow a foot taller or promise that I will grow wings and a second penis to pleasure multiple women at once or whatever and there are pieces of software which stop that (and I have my theories on the whole system which I previously wrote about) but nothing for the fax that I was aware.
So, I did little research on the googles and came across
The Australian Communications and Media Authority website
which discusses the regulation of spam in Australia. In a nutshell (or an empty testicle), unless the phone number is hidden/a private number it can be communicated. You can lodge a complaint with them if you continually receive spam of this nature, but you know where they put your complaint apart from sticking it up your arse?
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That’s right, in the shredder.

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Movie Snapshot

Sexy Beast - 63%
Surprisingly short film. The most interesting thing about this film is the movie is less about our protagonist and more about Ben Kingsley - a member of the mob who is sent to Ray Whitestone to recruit him for one last job even though Ray has retired from being a mobster awhile ago. Unfortunately, that is really where it stops. As far as the story is concerned, it was so very straight forward and not a great happens. If you are going to be a Guy Ritchie wannabe, this is not a bad start considering Ritchie has only really made 3 movies really worth watching. The critics on RT was giving it recommendations on the basis of its script and Ben Kingsley. Which if you use the word “fuck” every second word to give the authentic mobster feel, you might be correct but even though they are spot on about Ben Kingsley’s performance, I don’t really have too much else to recommend here.

A Complete List of my Sexual Failures - 46%
It starts out as a dude trying to go back to all the girlfriends he has lost over the time (and man, there is fuckloads which leads me to believe anyone out there can find someone) and find out what it is he does (or doesn’t do) to make all his previous girlfriends break up with him. If we assume everything here is not staged, the film has moments of uninteresting filler. Our main character, Christopher, seems like he is missing a personality. He says some pretty outlandish stuff to these women which makes me question how he gets a girl to begin with but until his Mum comes into the picture, none of his ex’s really wanna see him. We find out he has been having erection problems (which was my first guess as to why all of his relationships fail) since the breakup of his longest-lasting relationship which seems like she misses him, too. They don’t get back together but something else happens. The series of events which unfold boarderlines on interesting/funny and bored out of my fucking mind.

Shortbus - 57%
This movie ended up in the news due to frequent nudity and hard fucking scenes. In this day and age, it’s gunna have to take a lot more to shock me. It’s too hard for softcore porn but not hard enough to be regular porn. The storyline is not bad and there are moments which careen between really great and the mediocre but ultimately, it is about the characters: an American-Asian sex therapist, a gay couple, a stalker, some dude who wanna bangs the gay couple and Jennifer Aniston. Although to be fair it’s not the Jennifer Aniston we all know. You find out that all of these people are six ways from fucked in the head (except for one of the dudes in the gay couple) and the Shortbus is just this place where weirdos get together and hangout or fuck each other depending on what you’re in to. To be vulgar, there really was too much gay sex and cock for me to enjoy it without cringing. It’s not to say I am a homophobe but what they do in their own privacy is entirely up to them. Don’t film it and pretend it’s art. It’s not bad but not incredibly good, either. The highlight of this film is actually the city shots.

L.I.E. - 56%
This movie explores the relationship between a boy without a Mum (she died on the Long Island Expressway (L.I.E.)), a shonky-as-fuck Dad, a gay friend and a pedophile. I understand the film and how a relationship develops and how this man takes care of the boy but I was really expecting something far worse when I read the synopsis. He’s not a troubled kid but just hung around the wrong crowd. Our protagonist’s friend, Gary is a theif and does regular robberies around the area. The movie plods along at a reasonable speed with not a great deal happening to keep you interested but this is not that kind of movie. The relationship of the child really seeking a Father figure and found a pedophile instead has an interesting spin but as a whole is not interesting enough. The ending of the film was rather abrupt and felt forced as a method to give the film closure.

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Facebook Cops 2 Inches

I have a general dislike for Facebook. I wouldn’t use the word hate because Facebook hasn’t done anything to me directly to make me angry at it. Instead, I just don’t really give a shit that it ever exists and that it is the most accessed site in America (although, I would have thought Google beats Facebook but 3 of a kind MUST beat a flush, then). It is well known that Facebook collects information about its users and sells the information onwards to companies who want to know what your favourite chocolate bar is and then sell it to you in a link that you click on and order to your door 30 boxes of Mars bars pre-billed to your credit card details.

So, in tune with my attiutude, Facebook developers have now created a I don’t care extension for Chrome which is fucking great for those who really feel the need to show complete disinterest in anything anyone has to say. If I ever needed a reason to start Facebook, I have just found it.

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Quitting Cops 2 Inches

http://techcrunch.co … ignation-gracefully/
How Not To Handle A Resignation Gracefully
I am only writing about this because it strikes a chord with me. No one likes quitting especially face to face with someone who will fly off the handles when a less than favourable situation is presented to the manager. Especially one that can be prevented if the manager did the right thing in the first place. What you have is a marketplace that cares very little for the employee and those places that do, have a very lucky select few who never leave because of it. The rest just give you the attitude that they are paying you wage and you should be lucky that you are getting that and eventually you have a high turnover because of such low morale. It is not rocket science. Some managers can’t get out of their own way (we’ve all seen the TV show, “The Office”). I often wonder apart from being entrepreneurs in the first place how some people become CEOs and managers when they are fucking horrible at it. Email is perhaps not the best method of letting your bosses know you’re out of there but imagine being fired from facebook: it’s happened.
I think about it like this: in this day and age email is used for just about everything else and well, this IS from a developer. They don’t like talking to people who aren’t other developers even when they want something. It won’t be long before this becomes effective means of communicating you’re moving on. Someone doesn’t get the email and wonders why you are no longer turning up to work.
“Why aren’t you are at work, Michael?”
“Uh, did you not get my email 3 weeks ago? I quit. I gave you plenty of notice.”
And this would be sent by SMS because Michael doesn’t answer his fucking phone because that prick screens all of his calls.

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Yardbirds

There was a band back in the 60s called the yardbirds. If it weren’t for the fact that they had three guitar players in the band that went on to do bigger and better things, these guys might not have been as big as they were. Anyway, I thought instead of showing you a music video, I’d just show you a 3 part documentary from youtube.
Part 1:


Part 2:


Part 3:


Oh hell, this is one of their most popular songs:


Anyway, the interesting thing is the lead singer (apart from having severe asthma) is he died from being electricuted when he was practising guitar and his amp was not grounded properly and stood on a gas pipe. What an odd way to die.

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