2 Inches Of Fury

I have a memory like a siv.
So I went to the Jubes last night to see 15 bands which turned out to be 14 bands as one of the rude bastards decided not to show. I missed the first band who I was told was good but that’s heresay. I walked in on Noxious and about 15 guys in total around the place. They were giving their usual power performance. I don’t particularly give a shit about their music although they have one really good punk song. Their performance is what you go and see them for as it is always a good show and not the first time I have seen these guys.
THE MOLOTOV were shit. Before playing a gig, my suggestion is to learn your fucking instruments. Just ’cause your punk does not excuse you from bad playing. Their guitarist did not bring an amp so he sounded like shit. Certainly helps when you remember your fucking equipment to a gig you’re fucking playing, dicks.
Kombi Killers were not only shit but total dicks as well wrecking equipment that wasn’t there’s.
Myself Destruction were definately the highlight for the whole gig. I could wank on about how great the Quickening were but there was something I didn’t like about them which I was discuss. Myself Destruction had been clearly drinking and did make one or two mistakes (but they are only human) but sweet Jesus, can not find a more obliging band. I was the dick who kept calling out song names in hope that they would play them and they played every song (the few I knew) I called out. Totally awesome dudes to boot.
DMS were ok. It sounded like the lead singer/guitarist (whose name is Felix I guess by the back of his jacket) had some Daddy issues he really needed to seek help about instead of venting them in his song(s).
Fire Driver were not punk but they did sound like Grinspoon. Nevertheless, they were still a really good band.
Sled were awesome as well. Awesome guys to boot. Love their shit and totally different from any of the other bands.
Up until that point, the bands for the most part had been great.
Then Align set their shit up with Emil from Sled helping do their sound test as Dave from Align had been doing everyone else and shit was perfect: the stage was set. They got up there and their usual coy behaviour, Josh announced they were Align with no further banter and then…BLAMMO! I have seen Align play so many fucking times, there is a point where they should be paying my arse to turn up as they had been playing the same 6 songs with assorted covers for so long but had acquired long-time friend of the band, Josh as second guitarist which seemed to have ignited some kind of songwriting fire and it was clear as day that Josh has also raised the bar as band also as I have never seen Align play as good as they did that night. I don’t know if it had something to do with the moons in align (excuse the pun) but it was amazing to see that there were new songs (and one or two of them are some of the best songs they’ve ever done) but shit was tight. If there was one criticism, it is that I wish there was more banter. I like a little conversation, something more than, “Hey, how ya goin’? We’re Align…”. However, I do remember distinctively someone screamed out “PLAY SOME JAZZ” and Dave and Josh just broke and did this 30 second slice of what could have been Jazz if it were played by a punk band. Certainly not, “Bitches Brew” but certainly added to the night. It’s a shame not many people showed as they really missed on something special; definately a highlight of the day.
Dementia13 would have been even better if the lead singer wasn’t too busy telling the crowd they are a shit audience and being a total cunt. The energy was fucking amazing and the songs were really great. As well as hanging from the ceiling which was also pretty intense.
The Quickening were awesome but then again, you don’t need me to tell you. Surprisingly enough, they didn’t pull a crowd like they always do. There was great banter to add to the amazing abilities of each member and the power cut when the lyrics, “The parties over…” BLAMMO! And the most disappointing aspect of their gig, though was saying they are and never will play any of their back catalogue and they hand that over to Align as they are the only ones who still like those songs. So Quickening think they’re above their old catalogue like the rock stars they are - bunch of fucks. That is so bitterly disappointing. So I expect Align to start playing the only two Quickening Songs that matter - “Why I Hate TV” and “Red Spite For Blue”.
No Credit were alright. I was so tired by this stage that they could have put on a great show and I still would have felt indifferent about it. There was a fat dude who slid in front of the stage on a jug of blue booze which was spilt all over the floor. And some tall lanky fuck who stage dove off the stage on to the floor.

http://apcmag.com/wi … stem_maintenance.htm
Windows PE 2.0
If you are a giant nerd, then you might be interested in this.
Ultimately, it is a cut down version of Windows and before you say anything, I know I know. I thought it was impossible to cut down Windows any more than it already as an ultra slim operating system we have come to love. But unlike its big brothers, PE is fully customisable. There is however, a bit of fucking around. It could also get you out of tight situations.

http://www.wsuswiki.com/WhatisSUS
In the world of Windows, you receive updates every now and again in the bottom right hand corner. If you manage a network (home or business), you can decide which patches go out or not. Most people are ok with installing all patches and then whinge to their closest computer technician friend when it doesn’t work.

http://apcmag.com/wh … e-business-world.htm
Why is Apple a joke in the business world? Because none of their shit is designed for the business world?
They’re still stuck in their iPhone and iPod ways giving each other congratulatory rimjobs and pretend their OS crashes less than Windows. Because their hardware is dear as poison. Read the article for more.

http://apcmag.com/mi … entials-software.htm
If you like to cry into your pillow and wake up in cold sweats about your computers health or simply just don’t give a shit at all then throw caution to the wind by downloading Microsoft’s FREE software - Security Essentials. It seems to be ok from what I have tested but there are far better products out there worthy of your attention.

http://apcmag.com/wi … ws-start-to-show.htm
http://apcmag.com/ch … i-virus-software.htm
If the thought of an anti-virus/anti-malware piece of software in Klingon, then look no further. If you’re like me and it seends you into a spiral of rage and hate that would make the Hulk look like a giant pussy, then you should probably look away. I barely have an acceptable understanding of the English language as it is. I don’t want to confuse myself by installing something I don’t know how to use because I can not read any of the buttons and menu items.

http://apcmag.com/gi … dows-7-make-over.htm
Are you a moron? Or a giant homo? Or maybe you have a complete chemical imbalance? Well, I do not like change at the best of times but when it is a good idea, I give it credit where it is due. This is retarded. If you want it to look like Windows 7, then fuckin shell out the $150 for it. Or download it off the internet for free if you do not like the thought of Microsoft raping the money out of your pocket.

http://www.howtogeek … windows-xp-or-vista/
I have spent some time with the toolbar for Windows 7 and yes, it is somewhat more intuitive. There are improvements that can be made to the new toolbar (which are pretty much outlined in the link). It’s a good start but if you’re gunna go and make a change, you might as well go the whole hog. I do not need a preview of what application I have open. This is mainly because I am not a computer illiterate moron. So turn it back to how I like it.

http://apcmag.com/vi … ultiple_desktops.htm
If Microsoft had an original thought, it would be lonely. It was pretty much like our election for Prime Minister back in 2007. Linux said we can do multiple desktops, Windows said, “We can too!”

http://apcmag.com/mi … peed_launch_mode.htm
I personally have absolutely no need for this bar. But for some people who again, need to shave those precious seconds off their productivity or are simply TOO LAZY to do a few more fucking clicks of the mouse, then this is probably for you.

http://apcmag.com/ie … _screenshot_tour.htm
http://apcmag.com/mi … eases_ie8_beta_2.htm
IE8 sucks my nuts. I have a beta version of it on XP and half the websites I visit don’t fucking work. A perfectly good reason to fuckin move away from the dodgy piece of shit software. It does work better in Windows 7 but don’t waste your time on a piece of software that steals its ideals from better browsers, anyway. The best thing about any browser that isn’t IE, is they’re not trying to flog the shit out of the whole bing/live search. Urgh.

I tend to send links to myself where ever I am to remind myself to post it here. These are two links which seemed to have missed the boat somehow:
http://www.screenjun … ilms-you-should-know
I don’t know why they only selected 10, but there are better movies. Not only and that (and I know this sounds hypocritical if you remember back 50 odd posts ago) but why would he add them to a list if he has never actually watched them? He is basing his entire opinions on heresay which is retarded.
I would love to see Rubin & Ed as it looks to be right up my alley.

http://www.screenjun … -who-should-be-stars
Americans will laugh at just about anything. Some comedians are very funny but the ones mentioned in this list are not all funny. Nick Swardson was the only one from this list that I had seen his stand up routine (oh, and Oswald Patton). I had seen just about every other comedian in some movie or TV show.
If you read the posts by the endless list of tards who demonstrate the ever decline in humanity, someone googles comedian and goes, “These people also need their break…” and then post names of people who have been stars in film. Eg. Dane Cook.

One Hour Photo - 23%
At the time this film came out, it was a bit of a shock that Robin Williams would play not only a serious role (as it has been proven he is capable as serious actor) but also an unlikeable character. He plays like the sort of creepy weirdo who develops photos and then lives his life through a family who become scared of him and you just never know to which extent he would go. As a creepy villain, he does alright. I just didn’t feel the premise to be worthy of anything interesting. He inevitably loses it and blah blah blah. That is my ultimate feeling on this movie - blah blah blah. Williams’ character gets 22 out of the 23% I give the movie.

The Simpsons Movie - 15%
Imagine a new episode of the Simpsons. Now stretch it out to an hour and a half and it was probably not as good. The best part of the movie was at the very start before the movie started where Ralph Wiggum does the Fox Movie intro sound/music. It just goes down hill from there. RT will tell you it was great representation of the American family. But ultimately there is nothing new that kept me interested. There were (few) parts of it that had the classic insightfulness that early Simpsons was capable of before it became just a retread of old jokes but that is all it was. And for me, that is not enough. We all saw Spiderpig about a million times before we saw the movie and that was perhaps the second funniest thing this movie had to offer by which time when we saw the film had lost all appeal.

Revenge of the Nerds - 73%
Classic film from the 80s. It was a trend setter. You had real nerds who had very little going for them and then to see them rise above all the shit was executed really well. The characters were great and a smart, fun film. I think of this more as a fun film with some good characters than a well-executed intelligent film about teenagers.

Number 23 - 11%
Carey is capable of playing a serious role. Regardless on that fact, the story is self-mocking and it was supposed to be a scary movie. But I almost got more unintentional laughs out of this movie than all 4 Scary Movie films. Not to mention EXTREMELY boring. If they’re not going to put more effort into this movie, than I am not going to put more effort into reviewing it.

A Mighty Wind - 91%
This is Spinal Tap does folk music with the same wit you expect from the same trio - Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest (Director) and Michael McKean (who are all equally fucking marellous). Some of the jokes are a little more obvious and forced but all in told, a great fucking film. There are a handful of characters you get to meet and there is not so many that you are confused but you get just enough air time with all of them to know you are dealing with a group of nutbags who all have an important function to the movie. Apart from the 3 main characters (Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest and Michael McKean), Jane Lynch is also exceptional in this film as a woman with very strange circumstances on how she came to be in the folk scene. Eugene Levy plays a once heart-broken folk muscian (naturally) who was apart of a duo that broke up and caused him to be in a mental hospital and he plays his chracter rather well also. The whole point to all of this (which you find out in the first two minutes of the movie) is a one-off reunion show for the late Irving Steinbloom who kept the folk scene alive back in the 50/60s organised by his son who is also a well-intentioned nutbag.

Rounders - 67%
Matt Damon is a sensible (as you can really possibly be) professional poker player who has a long time friend Edward Norton who is a high flyer with a short fuse and tonne of bad debt. One dude buys all of Nortons debt and he is forced to pay it back in 5 days…OR ELSE. What exactly? Not important. They go from poker game to poker game and clean up without being spotted as being poker sharks. They get caught a few times which is about as relevant as the point system in Whose Line Is It Anyway?. It has some good performances with both Damon and Norton. If you are not prevvy to the game of poker, you might get lost with the lingo used. I love poker so someone who was not interested in poker might have rated it far worse.

Austin Powers: The International Man of Mystery - 90%
Mike Myers’ strongest and possibly best film not only in the series but in Myers’ entire movie career. Not only are the characters well defined and very likable but the jokes are thick and fast and well executed. The first time I saw this movie, I fucking wet myself. I found this even better than Wayne’s World.

Borat - 93%
Fucking hilarious well executed character by Sascha Baron-Cohen. The story is loosely put together to string together each cringe-worthy yet, so very riotous situation. The character is not only very well liked but has a blatant ignorance which works favorably. The entire movie is over the top but not in a decadent manner. If you like any of the Sarcha Baron-Cohen characters from his TV show, you will like this more or less as you know the excesses he delivers in all of his characters.

Bruno - 10%
I fell asleep through this - twice. Both Borat and Bruno come from the Ali G Show. I was aware who this character was before the movie since I watched the Ali G show religiously. It seems very clear that this is the only character that does not translate to an entire movie. I got one or two laughs out of the entire film which is really piss poor for a whole hour and a half. I knew it was going to be nothing but gay jokes and prior to the film I had low expectations because how many gay jokes can be done that has been already before? The jokes were forced and just shit house. It was clear as day that we have been hit over the head with these jokes with shock tactics and failing every step of the way.

Spanglish - 8%
As a whole I do not like Adam Sandler films. This is not a comedy which for Adam Sandler can be EITHER a positive or a minus depending on your take. There is the occasional film which is alright but this movie was boring as fuck as they explore the different cultures and different economic status and the families within them. Ya know, the whole wise Mexican vs. the generic American family. They show you each individual character and how they contribute to the story but man, I just couldn’t care less. It was quite obvious there was a whole tonne crammed into this movie - nothing of which was interesting enough.

Hot Fuzz - 88%
A very funny and VERY British comedy film about a hard core Police officer who gets moved to a quiet town and shit goes down. The new cop in town explores into what happens. As it continues to unfold, it gets better as characters are very likable and well defined characters with excellent on screen chemistry. Even though your protagonist is harcore, you just know it is all in good gest. Nevermind that though, with the addition of Nick Frost as the half-wit sidekick, it comes together fucking perfectly.

I started an entry August last year and never finished it. So I edited it and added 2 sentences. Here it is in its complete form (Published by Oho on Saturday, August 15, 2009 - 09:54:16):
Last night Sonja drove me home because I had been out on the town. And I had a little too much town to really drive. We were pulled over by the RBT (Random Breathalyser Test) and they got us for not having ‘P’ (provisional) plates as Sonja is still on her ‘P’s. Clearly it was a slow night or else they would have given us a warning as Sonja fed them an excuse which was viable and this is our first offense and it was really petty as everything else checked out perfectly fine. This resulted in a $160 fine. We were very much in the wrong. But then it got me thinking.

As you can imagine, that price seems extremely fuckin steep just for not having ‘P’ plates on. The government has taken a 0-tolerance towards provisional drivers as they statistically cause more accidents on the road which is their means of justifying this fine.

The area I live in is not a low to medium socioeconomic area. What they don’t take in account is there are far worse things out there on the roads than some unmarked ‘P’ plate car. For instance, Holden Commodore drivers and their friends, Ford drivers. All of them. Who clearly drive erratically and frequently speed while staying up the arse of the person front thinking that this will get them to move quicker.
Here is what you do in that situation: Buy a crap old car and a neck brace. On a straight and narrow road while you are doing the limit (or a tiny bit over) and some fuckface is almost touching bumpers, slam on your breaks. Even if there is nothing in front of you. And then take off again. Assuming he just didn’t plow right into the back of your car. You’ve now taught that wanker a lesson they clearly will not learn. Idiots never learn.
So for all you car lovers out there who wants the answer on which brand of car is better: Neither - You’re both losers. Find something better to debate about. All of you.

Recently a Motorcar insurance company has started a new policy which is either revolutionary or will send the company broke. I’m not sure. The policy states that it does not treat everyone the same. Someone who uses their car twice a week for an hour will be charged a different rate to someone who uses their car every day for several hours. At present, every insurance company charges you a flat rate regardless of how often you use your car.
Well, I believe the government should have a similar system. We were first time offenders and we use our car all the time so we should be either fined in a different structure or have our first warning. If I had offended in the past, it should be the fine as per usual. “C’mon, you’ve been warned about this before. Here is fine. Good day, sir.” Had I been driving a dodgy looking Holden VB I also like the way the police call a citizen, “Sir” or “Madam” like we’re above them. Treat us like royalty while you dish out a $160 that most of us will struggle paying. However, there is several problems with this structural scheme.

Plus, don’t police have better things to do? Like eat Donuts?

Do you think that all rules are created to ensure that the population is safe and anyone doing something outside of these rules should be punished?

Well all have ups and downs with our work. In the scheme of things, I have very little to complain about. But something funny did happen. This site was blocked on our work’s network. When a site is banned, they don’t have a reason but a category for it to fit into as to why it was banned.
They categorised this site as Pornography.

I shit you not.

And that is why it was banned. However, the ban seems to be lifted which is good. Maybe someone read this site after the ban was put in place.

Oh, and something awesome I found out too, if you google “2 Inches of fury” (exactly like that without the “”), my site comes up first!!! Out of 158,000 possible pages with one of those words, mine is first motherfuckers and it is all because of you. All I do is regularly update this site. I submitted it to google for a laugh last year sometime. Thinking that if they were looking for something to read and they googled me or a part of my site name, they would find me - th 5,000,000th result out of 5,000,000. But the joke is on me.
Well ok, it has changed since last night. I am second. Close enough though, right?
Still pretty exciting for a blog.

Fargo - 86%
Atmospheric as fuck. This whole movie has a certain air which is captured perfectly on film that is brooding and creepy. Late at night with the lights off and Steve Buscemi turns into a person you would not want sitting behind you. It is not a “BLAMMO!” shit yourself horror but still intense and very worthy of your time.

Burn After Reading - 82%
Some very funny moments but when it ended I was expecting more. It did end quite abruptly but at the same time, the more I thought about it - that was a great finish to a really good film. Brad Pitt is certainly one of the highlights in this film but it is easy to see where the mockery begins and ends with a few surprises along the way. Both Fargo and Burn After Reading are Coen Brothers films that are quite different from each other but are both unique and well-executed.

History of Violence - 92%
ANOTHER Dave Cronenberg film. This is still an excellent film and thoroughly enjoyed. Ed Harris plays an agent who has been sent from Philly to find Viggo Mortensen who plays a family man by the name of Tom Stall who thinks Viggo is an old member from the mob. The story is somewhat straight forward but the best aspect of this film is it keeps us guessing. And regardless of the title, this is not as violent as it is led you to believe.

Shrink - 60%
I wouldn’t watch this film again but it was mildly enjoyable. It has Kevin Spacey who plays the same character he always does - emotionally distant shrink who cares about people but is still traumatised about his wife’s suicide that to escape the problem, he smokes weed and has a dealer who is not particularly bright but always come prepared with about 30 different types of weed. There is this one moment in the scene that is quite good when he is with his dealer and Spacey are going through the dealers stash and he comes across this weed called something like, “Vietnam War” (as every type has a different name). And the dealer is like, “You should never buy this - only buy this if I have nothing else and you are desparate.” And he buys it any way because he can relate with being in a desperate situation and since things weren’t getting any better for him, he bought it. Both the dealer and Spacey find themselves in hospital in the next scene as the weed was interlaced with embalming fluid. Classic. There are all these stories and characters that you expect to go somewhere but it doesn’t really. However, the ride is kinda fun and that can be the whole point sometimes.

Biodome - 57%
Most critics will turn their noses up at Pauly Shore - and rightly so. However, this movie for me falls under the so-bad-its-good category. Two knobs get stuck in a Biodome for a year and they fuck shit up. If you’re expecting well-thought out jokes and intellectual conversation in this film, forget it. Characters are mostly generic and soul less and Pauly Shore plays the only character he knows - himself. The movie is pretty straight forward but there are parts in the movie that are so retarded, I let out of a laugh and went, “Holy shit, did I just laugh?” That happens a few times in the movie.