I have started a new category to try and find these a little easier since I got a Wii and will be doing more of these and since they aren’t together in a nice single area, you can now just click on the category and find every single game I’ve had the privilage to play. Ya know, if anyone gives a shit.
Kirby’s Epic Yarn 
Kirby went from being cute to being EXTREMELY FUCKING CUTE. Amp the cutesy metre up to 11. The first thing I saw when I got to the title screen was cute he was but when I showed the game to my friends, they seemed highly uninterested at first. When I showed them the game and you start to play, it sets the scene and really sucks you in. I am sure some extreme gamer somewhere knows how many Kirby games we’re up to now but this is definately one of his best. They have been very imaginitive and have gone a completely different route than before. Everything is made up of strings of yarn. And Kirby lassoo’s his enemies and unties them. It is really different and really amazing to see the new graphics. It is both intuitive and interactive where you can actually grab onto the background, lassoo and it will reveal a new and different outcome. The controls are spot on and in fact, this does seem like a variation on New Super Mario Bros as far as the feel is concerned but the difference in the graphics and the interaction is enough to keep your busy. The story line isn’t too bad but the cut scenes inbetween stitching all the worlds back up is both funny and really enjoyable for all ages. Even though it is aimed at kids, I still enjoyed it thoroughly. It has 2 player co-op in the exact same way New Super Mario Bros does where you share the same screen and can ride each other. What stops this from being a perfect game is the fact that it is relatively easy (as your character never dies in the game) and its duration. Even when you go through all the worlds again and gain the extra levels you didn’t get the first time, you should be able to knock it over pretty quickly so the replayability is shortened. Regardless, it is still one of the best games on the console. Although, with the list of other games I have lined up for me to play, I dare say I will be eating my words.
Mini Desktop Racing 
Meh. Just meh. The thing is, games like this one are based on games like Micro Machines Racing we had on the PC (or SNES maybe?) which were quite good games to play. Unfortunately, there are very few redeeming features about this game. If you can get past the shitty controls (B to accelerate and then twist your Wiimote like you would a key in a lock to turn), this might then be a 3 star game and be lifted to average. There are no mini games apart from the main racing game. The AI for your opponents is unchallenging. The tracks are narrow which would normally be fine. In fact, that would be something you would want in a game like this. But after the shitty controls I just found out I couldn’t change, those narrow parts of the track are now just extremely annoying bits of facefuck. It would be like paying $20 for a blowjob and finding out the whore is drugfucked and vomits on your dick. Which appeals for a very limited amount of people. Sure, they are out there. But I am not one of those. Really.
GTI Club 
It plays tight with the controls responding quite quickly with the feel of a Mini and has several different modes to change things up a little. You have time trials, driving with the traffic, gift mode (where you have to hold the gift on your car for the longest time), soccer game (which I found awkward to control) and one or two other modes. There are lots of flashy sprites on the screen to really give this an arcade feel to it and the controls only re-enforce that. You only really get two viewing modes which is a little restrictive but the default one should be enough for most players. The actual racing portion of this game is quite short (which involved courses all around the world: Japan, France, UK…etc) where I could actually finish and win all the courses in about a week of playing (a couple of hours every night). There are plenty of cars in game to earn and unlock (16 in total) which can give you something to aim for the during the game. In a multi player setting, I found that it was more or less the same as single player except with split screen without anything new or interesting added to the mix. This does not mean that it is boring as there is plenty of competition and interaction to keep you playing. Without these additional modes though, this game would have terrible replayability and might not have scored so highly.
Monopoly 
Before I tell you anyting, how much do you love Monopoly? This review comes from someone who loves the game. But let’s be honest, we all know a game of monopoly ends: FUCK THIS SHIT, FUCK YOU ALL. I’M GOING HOME. I AM NO LONGER RELATED TO ANY OF YOU!! MAYFAIR?!? MAYFAIR?!? HERE IS YOUR FUCKING MAYFAIR UP YOU ARSEHOLE YOU PRICK. Followed by taking the board, flipping upside down and someone storming off perhaps to never hear from them again.
The controls are fine although it asks you to roll THEN press A which seems a little counter-intuitive because you want to press A to get rid of the message on screen and then roll. There are two main modes of play: the classic Monopoly mode, where the game is exactly like the popular board game, or the new richest mode. The Monopoly mode is just as expected; you can play with up to 4 players, with the computer making up the full quota of players if you don’t have enough friends. You can customise the rules to your liking, including the amount of cash you start the game with and the amount you must pay to bail yourself out of jail. You also have an assortment of boards (which admittedly I haven’t unlocked all of them yet) which adds some nice extra dimensions. The Richest mode of play is very different, there is no cash to worry about in this game, and it’s even more reliant on luck! The game is played in rounds. You can select 6, 9 or 12 rounds of play depending on how long you want the game to last. The AI is frustring as fuck to play against as it will land on NONE of your properties and you will somehow just by “chance” land on their property with hotels on it. FUCK YOU OLD KENT ROAD! HERE!! HAVE MY LAST $5. IT’S ALL I GOT!! My only other quarrel with it is the inability to skip the animation section. You can’t make this a fast game. Every roll takes a minute or two so when you play, you have to be dedicated for the next couple of hours into playing it. Mr Monopoly is irratating after awhile as he says the same things over and over. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME LOSE ALREADY. OK, I get it you’re trying to add your part in so you feel like you are an integral part but please do it quietly over there in the corner. We’ll call you when we need it. Before I started writing this review, I was going to give it 4-4.5 stars. But the more I thought about, the more angry I became. Now Monopoly is lucky it gets 3 stars. See? Take Pall Mall with a hotel and stick it far up your arse, you selfish, unfair AI fuck. Hmph, showed you.
Metal Slug Anthology 
To be perfectly honest with you, as long as they port the game(s) exactly how they are into the Wii and make the controls nice and accurate in the classic mode, I am happy as shit. And that is exactly what they did. Can’t possibly get this wrong. There’s a good half-dozen different controller configurations to choose from and the default works perfectly fine for me. The only other additional noteworthy aspect to this game is mid-game saving which only adds to the game. Everything else is exactly how you remember it.