2 Inches Of Fury

And it was said on the mind controlling picture tube that they are looking at making privacy laws tougher which does not appeal to me. I always wanted a hot female stalker and if you introduce these laws, that fantasy can not happen.
I believe it was on A Current Affair and before you get all hoity-toity, let it be known that this story is not only credible but 100% true. They were saying that if these laws come true then gossip magazines will be thinner.

gos⋅sip /ˈgɒsəp/ [gos-uhp] verb, -siped or -sipped, -sip⋅ing or -sip⋅ping.
–noun 1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.

ru⋅mor /ˈrumər/ [roo-mer]
–noun 1. a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts: a rumor of war.

Ok, so now that we know the definitions of these words, fictious stories of celebrities are going to be effected due to privacy laws. So either these books are just really good at guessing the TRUTH or this story is a total bunch of shit and these magazines will continue to sell the same shit they have always done with fictious stories about people who look like they are normal and having a good time but what is TRULLY messed is that they are compared to the freaks who sit outside one of the celebrities houses and take photos, they are.
Is this because of the 1000s photos of Brad Pitt or some one else I couldn’t give a flying shit about which no one is going to remember that they no longer can take new photos? HOLY SHIT! We are in a crisis, people!

Then it raises bigger questions like why did these privacy laws have to become more tougher than they are now? And how come they have been so pathetic and under developed? Are people’s lives so boring and pathetic that they have to rely on others who are empty and superficial with about as much depth as a scooner of beer? And we’re supposed to admire these people? Hardly a life.
It’s gunna get tough, people.

This is not a middle finger to Gary Numan. While his 1979 album was seminal without a single note out of place, cars are getting out of fucking control. I worked out that I pay $50 in tolls every week which is rediculous.
And now they’re going to hike Rego another $250? Is this a joke gone too far or have we had too good for so long? Is driving a car a right or a privilage?
Before I had to drive to work, I spent $150/month of transport plus the running of one car which was (in comparison to what we have to do now) reasonable.
Now we have a second car and with tolls, petrol, maintenance and rego, I am sure we paying 3-5 times that amount. This is fucked.

I am not going to go on an endless rant. That’s not what I’m about.
I don’t know why but Jamie Oliver shits me.
There is something about that smug fuck. He had this show not too long ago which was showing the general public what is right and what is wrong to eat. Apples = Good, KFC = Bad. 5 cups of Vegetables = Good, Diahrrea = Bad.
I believe there is a sliding scale of smart people vs the sort of people who would watch this show. What I mean by that is, if you are smart you should/would have a pretty good idea on the sort of food you should really be eating. The show would only appeal to people who would intelligent enough to take an interest and those who really should take the information onboard would only watch the show if all the other free-to-air channels are broken and couldn’t be fucked getting up under their own weight, walking over to the computer and facebooking or myspaceing.
That doesn’t mean to say that what works in theory is what is actually executed in practise; people know what is good for them yet they continue to eat shit food. It’s a human fault that the majority would prefer to have that instant gratification and worry about the consequences later over having something that is healthy for you and it paying off in the long run. This would explain why I have 30 minutes to have some sad, tiny looking burger and some fat-soaked and extremely uninteresting “fries”/chips at the local grease shack any time during the day that isn’t some odd time of the day to be eating like 3:30PM. The thing is, I’m not pointing any fingers as I am a fat man, myself.
The point is that while there is facade of interesting facts, essentially is a big-arsed lecture. Something my parents would give me when I was younger. Which I can live without. The only decision is when my parents gave me a lecture is I didn’t have a choice in listening to it or not.

Recently I have seen: Testosterone, Miss March, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Surviving Christmas, Deck the Halls, I know who killed me and Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever.
Just to put things in perspective, Testosterone is the bottom of the barrel. In fact, if there was a level below the bottom of the barrel that is where I place this tedius film.

Miss March was made by the guys who did Whitest Kids U Know which is a funny Canadian comedy. I have no idea what it is but there always seems to be issues with TV actors/directors/etc attempting to do a movie and failing epically. While this movie was not very good, it still was not THAT bad. The 4% was totally harsh and it undeservedly rated 39 in the list.

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 was fucked and deserves everything it gets. It’s that bad, even Hilary Duff looks unattractive in it.

The major issue with Surviving Christmas is it has Ben Affleck in it. It’s only saving grace is James Gandolfini. Unfortunately James Gandolfini does not take out a gun and blow Ben Affleck’s fuckin head right off. That would have made a great film. And it also would have shortened the film to 10 minutes. Which is actually 9 more minutes I can stand of the original film.

I don’t know what it is but I like Matthew Broderick. There is something about his style that appeals to him. Unfortunately he was in Deck the Halls with Danny DeVito which actually took away any Christmas cheer I had and turned it in unstoppable nerd rage. After watching this film, I actually liked Matthew Broderick a little less. I didn’t give a shit about Danny DeVito before the film and after seeing the film, I am indifferent.

This is probably a statement I am going to regret later but I know who killed me was not THAT bad. I mean, it was still pretty crap but not total shit. According to “The Movie Boy”: “Lohan’s stripteases and pole-swinging theatrics at the gentleman’s club are notable for being genuinely steamy, sleekly shot and choreographed”. I do not know which movie they were watching but I bet after that pole dance, that pole now has an several more different types of chlamydia. Not steamy in my books; I guess whatever gets you going. It did an effective use of blue. However, it was never explained the significance of the blue to any great degree. One thing was certain: the FBI portion to this film was absolutely fucking pointless as they were less than help than reading glasses to a blind man. It also wasn’t very clear that the family that had Aubrey was paying Dakota’s Mum’s crack addiction. And gave the viewer absolutely no insight as to why Norquist was the way he was. Just that he killed once and that he attempted to kill Aubrey but was unable to because of stigmata. Lindsay Lohan was not the best choice for her role as twins but let’s face it, I could be worse: Paris Hilton. With ALL these negative aspects to the film it did leave you guessing as to what the fuck was going on. I guess when you found out, the care factor deteriorated to 0.

Ballistic was an action film with an unlikely high body count. Rottentomatoes pegged this as number 1 in the last 10 years as being the truly worst film but I am still not convinced. Did they all see Testosterone? That was far worse. And perhaps Surviving Christmas. What I am certain is Cheaper by the Dozen 2 was far worse. It will the butt of my jokes for the next little while. I haven’t seen the Pink Panther movies and they look absolutely disasterous. It was a turn-your-mind-off and let the explosions take you where ever. Oh, and don’t expect the acting to be any good. The plot wasn’t deep but it flowed which is…something. I guess.