2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

Great Music From Youtube

This is one of the great things about diversity. What I don’t like, someone else out there has the poor judgement/taste to love it. Which gives me a free-to-obtain licence to take the piss. This not only applies to music but movies, TV and generally any form of entertainment. Porn included.
But up until now I never really get the opportunity to flesh out some great music videos in the wave-after-wave of shit, uninteresting and banal youtube videos you would find advertised on the front page. So here are some actual-worth-while-classics-you-might-have-had-to-dig-for-if-I-didn’t-bring-it-up:

You’re welcome. :D

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Telstra Can Feel the Wrath of my 10KG Testicles

To put it lightly: Telstra is the bane of Australia’s existence.

I do not use Telstra in my own home as I usually find their services sub-par. As Australia’s main telephone company and ISP in Australia, you would think that providing essential services should be the one thing they can get right. Which they can for the most part. I understand that there can be art form to billing as it seems even the most efficient billing company can fuck it up every now and again. It’s just that Telstra do this regularly as though it is part of the service.

Anyway, my fiance’s parents use Telstra as their ISP. Except I made some changes to their computer in an effort to make it run a bit better. After I had made the changes last weekend, the internet has been performing strangely. Webpages were working then they stopped. I thought it was something I had done. They have been doing it all week. And then Sonja’s laptop couldn’t get internet, either.
And so I rebooted the router and that fixed it for about 5 minutes. Then it stopped working again.
So I thought the router was on the fritz. But this was the thing: everything else was working (except torrents because I don’t use torrents). FTP, VNC works, HTTP downloads (so if a large download was going from a website and the websites would stop loading, the download would still continue).
This has been happening all week.

So thanks to Tim, it was a DNS issue which I hope Telstra are going to look into.
Tim told me about OpenDNS.
There is a tutorial on their website about how to add the DNS settings instead of using your ISPs (especially if they do not work). As soon as I entered into the 2 IP address’:
It was working perfectly fine.

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Browser Wars

I’ve spent an hour or two on the internet. With this in mind, please take everything I say here as fact and first hand experience.

I didn’t even know this existed until I found the picture from google images. But logically since I knew there was a version 2, there had to be a version 1 somewhere along the line.

We used this at school. An absolute classic. Views pages in all its 256 colors glory. I don’t remember it crashing much but then again, I don’t really remember a lot about school anymore, anyway. Musta been that big bowl of crack I had right after school finished. The internet at school was slow and it was constantly complained about. That was circa 1999. Now it is 2009 and I work in a big company where I hear complaints daily about how slow the internet is. Shortly after I graduated from high school, the school got a major revamp with all of their computer equipment. They went from Windows 3.11 for Workgroups to Windows 95. I think they still use Windows 95. The whole network no longer shares a 56k modem internet connection. I am pretty sure they moved to the big leagues - 64kbit ISDN connection.

Does anyone really remember this browser?
For those that do it is shit by todays standards. Outdated and is now regularly the brunt of most internet browser-related jokes.

It was better than IE5 in just about every aspect and had better support. Whilst this is not a terribly high bar they set for themselves, Microsoft upgraded IE to the next level of shitness and Windows had this as the browser of choice (for obvious reasons). Because of this reason, you had web-based applications and websites that were written specifically for it. Regardless, it’s still the one of the worst browsers out there.

The major feature of IE7 was tabbed browsing. Which would have been revolutionary if it wasn’t the last major browser to support such features. It’s slow, uncustomizable and as shit as iRider. Every good function that can be found within Internet Explorer was stolen from FireFox or other competing browsers. When I was doing Software Development, I went to TAFE/college with a dude who programmed in his spare time and made a lightweight “browser” which was a window which opened up webpages. It had 3 buttons and the URL bar. Regardless on the crashing it would do whenever you visited a site with a tonne of flash or lots of scripting, it was still miles ahead of Internet Explorer. And not just 7, either. Every version of IE - 8 included.

IEradicator if you hate IE and believe it is not worthy of the 30mb of space it takes up on your hard drive.

Just another browser that offers nothing new. It’s not the fastest and it does not have the plethora of features that Firefox has. In saying that though, this browser can take solace that it is not Internet Explorer. Sometimes I really wish that Microsoft would make software that is worth having. On a rare occasion, they surprise us. Their operating systems are fine (depending on who you ask and which operating system you’re talking about) but have been shit house when you compare their browsers to any of their counterparts.

Google Chrome
This browser was developed by ex-firefox programmers. They took their bat and ball and went to another company. Or rather, their asthma puffers and calculator. The beta was buggy as fuck but I have been told 2.0 has fixed all those bugs. It by far the fastest browser out. However, it is missing plug ins. If you’re mad for plug ins, look elsewhere.

I am finding with each subsequent release, Firefox is offering more features but the browser in doing so it getting progressively slower. It’s still my preferred browser but it seems like all the programmers that were ensuring Firefox was well-performing piece of software went to Google Chrome. It’s getting chunkier and is turning into Windows Media Player - early versions used be lightweight and played media with ease (circa version 6) and then each progressive version sucked shit right out of my arsehole with more options and features they loaded into it.
Those who were developing ideas of making it better to use are still working for Firefox. If they left, Firefox would be fucked. On a poorly performing machine, I would highly recommend Chrome over Firefox. But then again, I don’t care enough about plug ins to really have a strong bias for Firefox.

And Thanks to Tim for this but Microsoft even did us a favor by doing a nice retarded table up to show us how far ahead Internet Explorer 8 is. If only the actual software reflected the table, I would be highly impressed but alas, it indeed still does not make enough impression to convert those who have common sense and are not happy with IE that went elsewhere:
Internet Explorer 8

Let’s walk through this table briefly:
Security: When I think Security, I think Microsoft.
Privacy: Still have that pointless phishing filter which actually slows my browsing down but I CAN turn it off? Notice how no other browser thought the phishing filter was a good idea?
Ease of Use: Every browser uses some kind of accelerator or else we would not have moved past IE5. But I am not really sure what they mean here. Does mashing the keys on your keyboard out of frustration when IE is so slow to do anything or worse: pulls some kind of unknown error so you have real way of troubleshooting it?
Web Standards: I’ll pay this forward, IE was great with supporting websites. In the initial instance, Firefox would have trouble loading websites but it has made improvements in leaps and bounds that even Google Chrome also supports. I’m surprised that MS actually acknowledges other browsers compatibility.
Developer Tools: Not a developer. Don’t care. And neither is 95% of the people who would even look at using IE. If I wanted A HTML/CSS editor, I’ll use something worth while like Dreamweaver.
Reliability: “Only Internet Explorer 8 has both tab isolation and crash recovery features; Firefox and Chrome have one or the other.” The reason for this is due to the fact that Firefox and Chrome are solid pieces of software that have enough reliability built in so they do not require such debugging features.
Customizability: This is Firefox’s strong point. In the scheme of things, IE8 does not really have Customizability. It sorta does but to what extent? Because Firefox takes those pathetic excuses IE calls Customizability and shits all over them. And wait just a fuckin second: Customizability? I think is a made up word as dictionary.com and my dictionary checker do not seem to know what this word means exactly. Sounds more fictional than disrefractorated.
Compatibility: I thought this was the same as web standards but whatever.
Manageability: “Neither Firefox nor Chrome provide guidance or enterprise tools.” Guidance for what? Trying to find google.com? What enterprise tools?
Performance: Again, nice to see MS actually acknowledging other browsers as being efficient pieces of software. It is faster than IE7 but that really doesn’t sit the bar terribly high. Compared to every other browser out there it is still a hunky piece of shit with MORE out-of-the-box features I couldn’t possibly care less about.

At the top of that table is three tabs and we are currently viewing the second one. If you view the first one (reasons to install), it says this in addition to this performance increase it bangs on about - Reason 1: It’s faster than ever.
…as apposed to? You can hardly promote your latest browser being a slow piece of shit that is more infuriating than the previous version: “Well, it is not faster than our previous version but it DOES have more options which you can already find in other browsers. C’mon guys! PLEASE use our software! If enough people don’t download IE8, I am out of a job!”

The only possible way they could make their browser any shittier is if they charged people to use it. If you want a real world comparison in which IE comes out on top as a superior browser, I would compare IE with Netscape 2.0.

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Online Games

Every now and again, I have time to kill at work. This is commonly known as lunch.

I COULD be doing much more useful things with my time, but I just wanna mellow out. I would enjoy the lunch break more over a bourbon but I work for a company who do mining and construction. And on site you are not able to have a drop of well…any substance in your system - alcohol, cigarettes or otherwise. So they enforced this rule that what applies onsite applies in the offices. Now if these offices were on site, I would totally agree. But the closest site to us is so far away, I fail to see how these rules apply to us. Now I understand that it is unprofessional to be drunk on the job. Especially since my job involves helping people with computer problems and talking with them over the phone. But 2 drinks? Shuuurely, I’ll be ffffine. Rrrriiiight?

They told us regular drug testing will be happen but not only have I not been drug tested but I have not heard ANYONE in the entire building being tested.
Except for that hot strumpet in legal.
And that wasn’t a drug test.
It was a frisk.
And it wasn’t done by any officials.
Just me.
Pretending to be an official.
And I kinda liked it.

I would test the boundaries except I like my job. And I will bet you my left testicle the day I go out for a drink during lunch time is the day I get called up for a drug test. And every day after that for a fortnight. And they won’t just call me on my direct number in a discrete manner but over the PA so every one can hear that my boss has a ragin alcoholic on his hands. It’d also explain why my job logging really starts slide after lunch. If I kept a nice little hip flask, you’d notice that by the end of the day, I am really just mashing keys. They’re not even words on the screen but rather a fusion of numbers and letters on the screen. But I have a solution to this problem. Just keep letting me do it and hopefully, I will get used to it and perform just as well sober as I do besotted.

Anyway, apart from this outrage, I found another way to kill some time - online games. WOO!
I have listed them from my least favourite to my most favourite:

Shopping Cart Hero
This game gets old quick. But before then it is not a bad game. It’s like playing Golf on PC - I can play it for a whole 20 minutes before losing interest and it doesn’t even matter if you suck at video games.

Jam Legend
This is like Guitar Hero/Rock Band for PS3/Xbox…etc. Except there is no guitar. And it’s not as cool.

Xiao Xiao 4
This reminds me of the Virtua Cop series. And this would be really awesome if it lasted longer. I would love a 10MB flash version of this with a number of levels. I finished this on hard in 30 minutes on hard which is still probably too long but I my gaming abilities are well…shit.

Split ‘Em Up
While the name sounds like some fucked up porno, I love the look to this game and initially it seems easy. You think to yourself, “Hmm, this doesn’t seem like a challenge but it is fun to play.” Just wait. You’ll see what I mean.

Downhill Snowboarding
I love snowboarding games. I really do. And like Tony Hawk Skateboarding games for the Playstation, games like this seem to be easy to get into and hard to master. I can get good scores on this but can not seem to get the outrageous scores they expect to get some medals.

The only complaint I have about this is how it handles. The ship you control is runs a little behind and there is no keyboard support. Other than that, this game is awesome and reminds me of an older but better time where the games were simple but just so effective and easy to get into with just enough challenge to not want to put it down until you have mastered the game.

Plain ol’ Old School Tetris - Gameboy Edition
I know what you’re thinking - Tetris? Are you in crack? Yes I am but that is not the point. It’s one of the oldest and best games and it never gets old unless of course you have mastered it a million times. Then this wouldn’t be at the top of the list. (Or the bottom depending on which way you read this entry). Even if I was that good, I would still play this game. Man I love Tetris. If that is not enough for you, then I have this:

Modern Tetris
This is pretty cool, too.

I love Pacman just as much as I love Tetris. And man, I love Tetris.

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