2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

Deep Throat/The Shat and Nimoy All Cop 2 Inches

http://www.allmusic. … l=10:08qog4extv1z~T1
No one will ever be like William Shatner. Captain James T Kirk to nerdlingers the world over. Both loved and mocked in the same sentence. A man whose situation is so unique - both a lifestyle and twist of fate.
I didn’t know that the Shat had another album. I was under the core belief structure that when you put out an album as mind-blowing (and I mean that in several different ways) as The Transformed Man that you can’t really top it. And in many ways, his newest offering does not. This time, he is apart of the joke and while I do empathize with the situation of being taken seriously, I would prefer to take the piss instead. The joke is just not as funny. Still classic but because the 1968 classic had that uncertainty, the edge (along with the severely outdated music) is what adds to make it a timeless classic.

His cover of Pulp’s, “Common People” was a surprise and was a much welcomed addition to the repertoire of classics the Shat has graced us with.

http://www.allmusic. … ;sql=10:kcfoxqe5ldde
Then I did a little further digging because if I missed his important and understated 2004 release, what else have I missed? I fell into a fit of uncontrollable laughter when I found out Shat was apart of a compilation (and get this…) called, “Golden Throats”.
Like Natalie Imbruglia, I am torn. Do I take the high road and end this entry here by leaving the reader make his own jokes or do I take the low road and fill in the blanks? Firstly, this sounds like a porno. How much Golden Throat would one get? Are those Throats REALLY Golden or is that simply a marketing ploy? Not to brag but I got Golden Throat once. And that is why I am marrying Sonja. That shit has got like $500 street value. I have been advised it is better than black tar heroin.

Oh, and it also has the addition of fellow Trekkie, Leonard Nimoy has icing on the proverbial cake.
Around the same time ol’ Shat was cashing in on, “The Transformed Man”, Nimoy was taking on an album of his own. Cashing in on the Trekkie phase. Little did anyone predict that shit would get this out of hand on a TV show which is so old. Mr. Spock’s Music from Outer Space is another slice of musical genius. It’s clearly a comedy album but the dated music simply adds to it the way that, “The Transformed Man” is. I am unsure on whether Nimoy and Shat would look back on those albums and go, “Wow, how did we come up with great inspiring, cult-classic albums such as these?” or whether they would be more like, “Wow, what a regret. I guess you’d do anything to support your meth habit.”

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Banned Commercials: Really?

Youtube has some weird shit if you dig for it long enough.

I was particularly horny one night so I found a banned commercial about the condom company, Durex:

That wasn’t long enough, so:

They say this was a banned commercial however, at the time MS was flogging their Xbox, this was on a pretty constant rotation where I live so I doubt the “banned” title they give this clip. Also, if life was short, wouldn’t you try and promote getting out more and seeing more of the world and everything it has to offer rather than a narrow minded, extremely expensive, socially-retarded game console?

Kinda funny:

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Dilbert is one funny fucker.
Scott Adams (Dilbert’s creator for the uninitiated) had a blog separate to the Dilbert site he has now which has closed up shop. However, if you spend roughly 3 seconds in google, it is like 3rd of 4th link from the top. So, I have saved you roughly 2-50 seconds depending upon how quick you are with a computer and how fast the computer itself is by posting this link: http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/. Much like my own site, every entry is not always comedic gold. But just to save you some more time, I came across this entry which was hell funny: http://dilbertblog.t … americas-favori.html.

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Dicks, Wankers and Arseholes

If anyone can think of a way this site would get more attention, I would like to know. I tried submitting my website to Google but you know how it is. When it displays 1 out of 5,000,000 results, I am the 5,000,000th result. No one realizes that amount of minutes it took to put this site together. It is regularly updated which is more than most of the websites which get posted on the net.

Throwing some ideas around, I thought why not make a webtoon? That’s a word…right? Webtoon? In the entire existence of the internet, I have only seen a very few actually worth reading. The rest of them are World of Warcraft nerds or Babylon 5 nerds who enjoy boneing each other by telling World of Warcraft “jokes” that require phrases and words only people in World of Warcraft would know. They only laugh mostly out of pity and the appreciation of the time it takes to actually draw one. A perfect example of this is:
I don’t know how but this is a link on maddox’s website.

In the list of links was a website called Tucker Max which is some wanker who thinks he is funny. He’s like maddox except Maddox lives up to his own hype.
If all I need to be is a giant dick to get attention to my website, sign me up.

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Micky D’s

McDonalds: Serving Shit Food since 1940.
It all started with the first McDonald ad ever made:

This ad should have sent the franchise broke. This doesn’t look like Uncle Ronald McDonald - that loving, trustworthy and friendly clown at your local franchise. No, this dude looks like uncle bad touch. The sort of freaky perv you wouldn’t leave your kids with even if he paid you and would probably MORE suspect if he DID pay you.

The Ron-ster in this video clip skates like a 4 year old with those My-First-Skates from Fisher Price. He looks like they’ve hired a drunk, put him in a clown costume and let him loose on the kids.
But they have edited this ad very well. When he says “Your mother is right as always, but I’m Ronald McDonald. Give me a ‘McDonald shake’…”, he wasn’t talking about the kid shaking his hand. And when the kid says, “Well, you sound like Ronald…” and the clown in question replies, “Well here, I’ll prove it to you…” and while it looks like he is pulling burger after burger, he’s certainly pulling but not burgers. This also explains the shocked look on the kids face ’cause uncle bad touch is packin’ a serious amount of heat…in his trou department.

They took the original clown and replaced him with this guy. What is with Micky D’s taking all their clowns from Jail and using them in ads?

And their happy meals? Don’t get me started. You can have one of their popular sad looking, completely-nothing-like-the-ads cheeseburgers, a-day-and-a-halves-amount-of-fat-in-a-small fries and a small diabetes-inducing, watered-down-coke-like-syrup coke or soft drink/soda (if you’re American) and sodomy.
Oh and the funniest thing is they’re offering an alternative to this extremely unhealthy food. I wish youtube had the video to show you how they are marketing their healthy alternative. It was the most unintentionally funny ad ever made. These kids are not going to go for the healthy alternative. What would they prefer? Some awesome-tasting, fatty fries? Or the most skankiest looking pieces of apple you have seen that have been sitting there for weeks ’cause no one in their right mind would buy them. And they sit there and McDonalds can not add a ridiculous amount of additives and preservatives to make them sound more appealing. Even if the apple was fresh, only that ginger kid who has allergies to the fat in the chips would be the one to select apple as an alternative. He would have selected the fries option if the preservatives didn’t kill him and shut down vital organs. The healthy alternative is only there so people don’t sue the restaurant but seriously, when you got to Mickey D’s, what are you expecting? It’s a grease shack, you morons.

Pennywise the clown? LOL
That is one freaky looking clown. I can not imagine this clown making too many crying kids stop crying.

Now, if they had an ad like THIS, I would buy more McDonalds. I don’t even care what they’re selling. Ronald had a hot sister who is working the advertisement scene and I bet old-mate Ron is sick of all of his friends telling him his sister is massively hot and they wanna bang her. Being a sister it is not like ol’ Ronny can say, “Yeah…I wanna bang my sister too?” You sick freak.

I was watching media watch the other night and thought it be so thought provoking, I would include it here. It is about the way McDonalds target…erm…certain groups:

Funny shit.

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New Website Name

I was at work nerding shit up when we we started about old school software.
Anyway, to make what could be possibly be a really long entry a short one, I have changed the name of my site for the time being. We’ll try it out and if I don’t feel it, we might come back to the original title.
Give me feedback. Pretend you care for a minute. I always like hearing from you all.

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Walking on Glass Shards

You guys know me. A word smith with an arsenal of words to put together a delicate and thoughtful tribute.
SO yeah…Michael Jackson - dead. BLAMMO! Carked it a week or so ago and people are STILL bangin on about it. I shouldn’t care that people care so much but seriously people, move on. Are your own lives so dull that you must live it through someone else?

I understand that yes, he sold a ridiculous amount of albums easily in the millions (750 Million at last count). Yes, he went through a streak of albums that are indeed classics. Yes, he devoted his whole life to music, entertaining and put on shows that were epic. No amount of television coverage is going to make him get some form of special rigor mortis where his body becomes stiff enough to hold himself up like the zombies in the, “Thriller” video clip and dance his way back into our hearts.
According to Lisa Marie, she said that she wished that her husband (while they were together) was as stiff as he is now. Zing.

But what about every other artist out there who is equally talented (and on occasion more talented) but not as popular…what about him/her/them? Are fan’s lives going to be as effected as this psychotic world that Jackson has managed to conjure his fans up into? No. He does weird shit in his personal life and people make connections with that in some form of fucked up way. There was a group of fans who stood outside of the court when he was being accused and prosecuted with touching kids. Not my cup of tea but that group stood up for Jackson saying he didn’t do it. Like Jackson’s life meant something more than a musician/entertainer. The case was thrown away and Jacko won, but did he REALLY win?

The stories that came from his death have gone from the facts, “Died from a heart attack…”etc to the most far-fetched shit you have ever heard in your life. There were stories about how people’s lives fell apart when they found out about his dead and I couldn’t help but laugh. They might have even committed suicide over Jackson’s death. People’s lives are so sad that once his life ends, so does yours? That is not only some truly fucked up shit but really sad in a pathetic kind of way. They are going so far that this video wound up on the news:

While that is kinda freaky, that could be any one or somebodies shadow. Idiots.
Or the story about how they found Jacko’s face in tree stump.
1. Who the fuck cares?
2. That stump looks like a stump you retards.

People were obsessed the world over when Jackson was ever mentioned in the news for the good, the bad and the child molestation. To put things into perspective, they banged on about Princess Di for a month plus when she went 6 feet under. And Jacko is more popular than Snooty-pooty Di so this is going last for some time to come.

The good thing about his death is that Jackson will finally get some rest.

So I leave you with a handful of (appropriate) Michael Jackson jokes in his memory:
What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? A: They both like a little crack now and then.
What makes Michael Jackson so unique? A: It’s the little boy inside him.
Why did Michael Jackson Check into the Betty Ford clinic? A: To get over his 11 year crack habit.
When Jackson died, he asked to be cremated so he could be melted down into a PlayStation so the kids could play with him.
When watching Michael Jackson’s coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words: Cool Runnings?
On the day of Jacko’s death, there was some confusion. The report said that he was found in the Children’s ward having a stroke.
That same report said his actual death was from food poisoning after eating 12 year old nuts.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and zits? Zits didn’t come on Macaulay Culkin’s face till he was 13.
Michael Jackson sued Rio for false advertising after purchasing an entire truckload of men’s briefs. This is why we no longer hear the term “Tighty Whities” used in their commercials.
Hungry Jacks (of Burger King if you come from the US) recently made tribute to Jacko with the his own burger. The ingredients? 50 year old meat between 8 year old buns.
What do Michael Jackson and Tiger Woods have´╗┐ in common? They are both famous for playing with little white balls.


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Australia’s Broadband Is Up a Certain Creek Without a Paddle

http://www.australia … 742272-15306,00.html
I have a particularly bleak view on Australia’s Broadband situation.And this story only furthers this view.
The promises of Australia’s broadband being upgraded by 2012 were whimsical at best.
And now they’re arguing over Tasmania still? At this rate, should be done 2016. Maybe 2020.
I understand that Australia is a large country. Due to the geographic nature of our country, it means that our country is naturally going to cost more and take longer to do. And it will also cost more to do. But politics can suck my nuts. Do you think that with the amount of money we make from Import/Export and Tourism that Australia can AFFORD to have such a Broadband system? Roughly speaking, Australia is about 5 years behind the rest of the world and with this sort of arguing bullshit, this figure is only going to grow expendentially.

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