2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

Marvel Superheroes

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http://io9.com/52896 … t-the-movie-big-time

Check this out.
My bet is on Hawkeye - they gayest looking super hero. They could do run-of-the-mill gay jokes just like I imagine they will do with Bruno this year.

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Movie Review:

http://www.avclub.co … case-file-137,27976/

I reading this and thought, “Fuck this cracker can really talk about shit”. I know that’s a bit rich coming from me but does he get many people coming to his website? What does the reader care while this guy reminisces about his youth and what he did in college? Are people that judgmental and somewhat shallow that they base your entire existence on what you’re reading? If so, those are really not the friends I want to be hanging around with. I don’t know what college you went to, the college I went to, people cared more about how much you could drink before you vomit the contents of your stomach as well as any stomach bile. Or tastes in music and TV played a bigger role without having prove you’re any type of intellectual to define you. What sort of identity crisis were you going through in college?

Of course, I do agree if you watch reality TV, you’re a sheep as I have yet to watch groundbreaking reality TV that talks about major issues or interesting topics from the limited amount I have seen. Not, “Aw man…I just used the toilet. Give it 10 minutes…wait, no. 15 minutes.” Only not that good. And it is never funny but they ALWAYS get these jock types who spend more time in the mirror or working out than needed. And these people have the blandest personalities and their lives are extremely uninteresting. I’ll leave it here before this paragraph blows it out into its own entry.

Regardless, the point is this, if this guy can write a two page review and people read it, why don’t people read my entries in detail? They see a picture of a shit and automatically I’m discounted? Read the rest - it was funny. What sort of audience have I attracted? I want a group who will read the text and not see the picture which acts as the basis of the joke and automatically disqualify it before it gets a chance to surprise and entertain with my witty, unpredictable and humorous text.

I WAS gunna write a movie review but I am so pissed you fucks, you probably wouldn’t read that.
In fact, I don’t even know why I wrote this since none of you will read it.
Except you Boggs. And maybe you too, Beamsy.

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A Merge Is Gunna Happen! BE PREPARED PEOPLE!

Guys, just a heads up this is a warning that Nestle and Cadbury are gunna have a merge and this is not looking good. I was lucky enough to get the preliminary photos of the first batch of chocolate bars we are likely to see on the shelf from this company and I can honestly say, they are looking GOOD:

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Movie Review: Dance Flick

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http://au.rottentoma … s.com/m/dance_flick/

Aw, for fucks sake…MORE Wayan brothers? How many are there?
And how many are still to come? That is what worries me. I didn’t know THESE Wayan brothers existed. Damien Wayans? Please tell me that is a typo and they really mean Damon.

Now before I give you the low-down on this film, the Wayan brothers DID star in some great films: Requiem for a Dream and Major Payne. Scary Movie was alright the first time and I shamefully admit I liked white chicks (although, the premise required a stretch of belief system).

They have bought us so many classic films:
Little Man, Scary Movie(s), Bulletproof (FUCK, remember that film?), Blankman, Mo’ Money and Don’t Be a Menace. Now doing some research on RT provides yet ANOTHER classic (by the sounds of things as I’ve never actually seen it) - Dungeons and Dragons. And when I say classic films, I mean they are classic examples of shit B-movies. What I don’t get is how they are continually cast and continually make these films.

There is very little to take the piss on when it comes to dancing except for those who can’t dance, for those who take it too seriously or a small suite of gay jokes which can not be stretched for an hour and a half with fresh ideas.

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Band Names

I found this entry lying around the internet:
http://www.cracked.c … in-rock-history.html

While it is opinion based only and not actual fact (as I guess there is no REAL way to prove something is retarded), this hits the mark frequently (if not, all the time). What got me was #1 and I sorta don’t want to ruin it for everyone except I was very surprised (as I had not even heard of the band).

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Tribute

This is not a Tribue to the greatest band in the world - Tenacious D, no.

I did a tribute to one of our greatest actors of all time - Gary Busey.
The man was one of a kind.

Well, I thought I would do another tribute which was one of a kind.
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My shit.
I did this tonight and many, it felt so big and was so painful coming out I swear it came out sideways.
I was so proud of it, I took a photo after I showed it to my fiance. That is to say that Sonja was less impressed with the demonstration of my fecal matter. I had to share this with the world. 15 minutes of strainin’ and wallah! And before you ask, yes I had to break it up with a toilet brush before flushing. When I broke the turd up, it made a loud painful yell which sounded like a male version of the witch in Wizard of Oz when she had water poured all over her. I was so exhausted after this shit, I needed to go outside and have a smoke. Well, I had done MY exercise for the day.

I am going to have a DVD release which will come with previously unseen footage, Easter eggs and an extended edition and also a re-enactment of previous shits of similar caliber.
And also there will be a book about the shit and how it came to be in very graphic detail including pictures drawn by Maddox. It will a biography firstly about me and then a biography written about the shit. My first choice being Michael Crichton so it would have been dubbed, “Crichton Brown: How I learned to stop worrying and love Brown town”. It will be story of epic proportions that will later have a movie adaptation based around the book and loosely based on the DVD.
There will also be a bonus magazine for those that pre-order it with articles of feces of not just the human variety but of just about every other creature on this planet and perhaps predictions of how Aliens were to shit if they could do so.

So look out for the release in your closest HMV, EZ DVD store or online at Amazon for a questionable $69.69.

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Game Shit

Technology is getting out of control. Everything is getting smaller and more efficient. Except the contents of my pants which gets bigger…and is more efficient.

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It’s the new PSP. They call it PSP Go. It will have 16GB of Flash storage and no longer takes those UMD discs.
They’re moving to flash memory which is a good because it will be faster to play games.

No one seems to know if the memory will be Sony proprietary or not. Really, it won’t make a difference, either way. You will still be able to find images of the games available on your favourite free torrent web site and find some way to have every game for free like they do now with UMD discs. I guess it just means it is easier to pirate the shit.

http://www.rockband.com/zine
One of the biggest games at the moment is Rock Band.
Their was guitar hero, then Rock Band and then World Tour. This shit just gets out of control and people lap this shit up like the consumerists they are. And then you have several different types of Rock Band/Guitar Hero: Metallica, Aerosmith…and now I find out they are doing the Beatles.
A lot of people have commented that Beatles are overrated. Then again, so is Metallica.
And although they have a lot of guitar-driven songs…Aerosmith? C’mon, there’s at least 10 bands who would do a better Guitar Hero.
With this new Beatles Guitar Hero, they are even going to have custom guitars. I shit you not.

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