I’m not a big fan of coffee. I’m more of a bourbon drinker. You have something that perks you up in the morning and I have mine. I also enjoy any type of consumable that says, “Throw caution to the wind and try some of this…”. Maybe not Fugu Fish where I could die from one tiny bit if cut incorrectly, but something says, “Hey you. Yeah, you. Have some of this. I am going to fuck your shit and make you completely unproductive.
Make you high? Sure.
Make you shit so hard you will devastate the porcelain bowl beyond a fix? Yep.
Make you cry tears of blood? Why not?
Make your next pee burn so bad, you’ll think a testicle collapsed and you’re peeing it out in shards? Absolutely.
Lactate milk? Yes, sir.”

Well ladies and gentlemen…feast your eyes on this: