fleshlight.png
We all know what Fleshlight’s are, right?

They are fake vagina’s. You put your dick in it and shake it until you blow everywhere like opening a highly suggestive bottle of champagne. If you want to turn that lonely night of crying deeply and using your tears as lube when you masturbate only to feel good for about 2 seconds before you head back into suicidal depression, then a Flashlight is the answer.
Or say your wife is holding out on you and you suspect that she is cheating on you with someone else and you really want to stick it to her but you don’t want to sink to her level or demonstrate that you don’t need the intimate touch, then this baby has you covered.
Or if you’re unemployed and no woman on the face of the planet has any interest in you because you smell of cheese and you haven’t had a shower or groomed yourself in weeks, maybe months and you’ve just given up on life then this item is a must-have.
Or if you just want to have a tug in addition to the sex session you had last night and this morning and your girlfriend/wife complains that her vagina feels like it is on fire even though you’ve both been tested for VD, then this might be for you.
Or while you’re at Church asking for forgiveness on the sins you’ve committed and you simply can not go another second without wacking it and need that extra boost to get there quicker?
Or maybe you’re in the car with the rest of the family on a family vacation and the car is full of crap that you swore you all couldn’t live without including a fish tank and a broken hoola hoop and don’t want to be TOO conspicuous about going to town while Dad seems to drive way too many bumps in the road setting off an uncontrollable erection? This gear will help you in that situation.
Or maybe at a funeral and you want to celebrate the loss of a loved one by nutting it out in the can or open casket? Hey, don’t let me tell you how to run your life.
Or maybe that hot chick at school brushed up against you sending your once-flaccid penis into an infinite boner and you needed to release discreetly?
Or maybe the teacher you thought which was every bit of alright kept you around after school to tease you by making sexually suggestive actions but knowing full well she couldn’t go through with it might make good use of that mongrel you now pack.
Or maybe you like to dress up in your girlfriend’s clothes and jack off in your girlfriend’s pantyhose with a vibrator up your arse while she is at work.

I am sure there are many other reasons why you would want to own one. But the point is, apart from being dishwasher safe, is it now comes as an attachment to your iPad. They have done well here because this item seems to be pretty compulsory. I hope to get one for my birthday or Christmas. Maybe from my parents-in-law. And maybe the wife can get me the iPad to go along with it. She has wanted one for so long. The iPad, not Fleshlight. Maybe it is now time to let both her and my dreams come true.