I downloaded this blindly as I thought even if someone’s idea of the Greatest Rock Songs of the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, every now and again you find an old pop song that is something new (to me).
I thought of all the radio staples and had a pretty good idea of what I was to encounter if this compilation was to give me what I (or anyone who had any expectations) was expecting. First track off the top of my head had to have something to do with Led Zepplin, right? No.
OK then, how about, “Sunshine of Your love” by Cream? No.
What about, “Alive” by Pearl Jam? Nope.
Anything at all by the Rolling Stones? Neil Young? Bob Dylan? Oh yes, there is a Bob Dylan track. It’s not his best work but OK - I’ll pay that.

There are plenty of reputable artists like Springsteen, Rod Stewart Phil Collins, Bowie, Clapton, Meatloaf, etc. But after the first 4 tracks on the first CD I started to notice a pattern. And it came on heavy and thick too. Something you would only notice if you never really ever paid attention and put it on while there is a fucking funeral going on. That’s right - this is not the Greatest Rock Songs Of the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s it’s the most fucking Depressing Rock Songs Of the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s.

If, “Everybody Hurts” by REM doesn’t hit you, then “More than Words” by Extreme is the next song. Ever heard of it? Me neither. Greatest Rock songs? More like Greatest Cock Songs that make you take a toaster into the bath. The next track, “Not Where It’s At” by Del Amitri is some nobody that probably had a minor hit in the past. Hardly quantifies as a “Greatest Rock Song”. The next few tracks are a mixture of nobodys who had a 1 hit wonder way back when nobody gave a shit and the most depressing hits you have ever heard.

Tracks like, “I’ll stand by you” by the Pretenders, “She’s Gone” by Hall & Oates, “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins, “I want to know what love is” by Foreigner, “Hazard” by Richard Marx, “Broken Wings” by Mr Mister. It’s worse than a Nick Cave marathon. It makes you take the 2 Prozac you took before this album and makes you take an additional handful followed by a Vodka chaser. The dose is entirely up to you from a mouthful to just downing as much as you can without vomiting it all up.

The last 5 tracks then pick up again and it is not as depressing (although, I did count, “House of the Rising Son” in that 5 tracks which is a being brought up in a poverty-stricken broken home). So the Great Rock Songs? Hardly. If you even make it to the last 5 tracks on the second CD without turning a taser onto yourself or making food with shards of glass in it and then eating it, then you’ve made it through. It could be just the first time of hearing songs this sad that make it so hard to digest but fuck, one listen is all I need to make me want to eat a handful of fish hooks followed by a handful of laxatives.

If it doesn’t kill me, I’ll be shitting blood for weeks. If I see you in ER, I’ll assume you’ve heard this compilation of down-trodden songs and deciding to and then failing at ending it all.