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Be aware there maybe spoilers.
There were parts that made me laugh. Like the pick up lines - “Are you from Ireland? Because when I see you, my penis is Dublin.”
But, this film filled me mostly with hatred. And it is not because for an almost 2 hour long film, it had 20 minutes of solid comedy. It’s because I painfully identify with male characters. Ok maybe, not to the extreme of getting busted by the cops after being caught wacking off in my car out the front of my house. But these guys were good, clean wholesome family men who dedicate themselves to their families. Ultimately, all they wanted is more sex from their wives. They wouldn’t be talking about it all the time if they just got a little more. They put in time around the house to help out with the women, so how hard is it to spread em while he goes to town? I am sure you could even bargain with him down to letting him but not pretending that you are really into it.
And what did the wives do? Fuck shit up. And not in a that’s-fucking-cool-Bruce-Willis-In-Any-Die-Hard-Film way. Their fear was after however many years, that the men would be thinking about other women when they’re having sex with them and this whole thing stems from that insecurity. Are you fucking mental? Ladies, unless you’re married to a model who continues to keep his appearance up, I bet you my left nut you will be thinking about another man when your husband gives it to you. That is assuming you can be arsed into having sex by lying there and just taking it.


I initially thought, you wouldn’t cheat if your wife was Christina Applegate or Jenna Wassisface from the Office. But let’s say that you are married to them and they don’t put out. Then you are in the same conundrum these guys are in. It doesn’t matter if she is as hot as the sun. If she doesn’t put out, then the point is moot.
The attitude of the women in this whole story is fucked. Give the man what he wants and this whole thing will just blow over. How do they not get that having a man pick up a woman is 10 times more difficult than a woman trying to pick up a man? They made a big deal about what the man was getting up to but the women were really more to blame in this story.
And then the men went about the whole process all wrong. Of course, going for comedic effect - I get it. And sometimes it was funny but not in such a way that would warrant a laugh out loud situation unless you’re an American that laughs at anything. Ya know, even if you didn’t get the reference like half the audience that watches the Big Bang Theory. The thing is, you could have progressed the story a little faster. The Golf trip OK, and Applebys was a funny starter but then dwindled on that joke for far too long. Once they finally found the right place, spent too long on trying to establish relationships or at least a foundation for a one night stand. It could be a generation gap talking here but who cares if the band the woman likes is shitty? You go, “Yeah, I fucking love this band…” bang the shit out of her and move on like Gene Simmons at a Kiss after party or Ron Jeremy in any porn that stars Ron Jeremy. And who cares if she is too young? She’s legal, right? If you don’t brag about it to your friends, then that could have been another potential root that could have happened instead of the men realising that they lacked the bollocks to go through with it before it degenerated into a safe chick flick. This could have been so much more than the disappointment this movie was. It starts off with a premise on potential here. I mean, if How I Met Your Mother can go 6 whole seasons based loosely on a set of theories based around picking up women, surely you could have taken the best hour and a half from that show and made a fucking great film out of it.
They took every situation and made it Disney-friendly.
The way I see it is these lazy sluts these men have as wives were simply transferring their responsibilities in the relationship to a random slut these guys could potentially be banging. If they got laid to begin with, we could have all moved on and saved me from sitting through mostly unfunny garbage.

Out of the 110 minutes you made me sit there patiently, there was 20 enjoyable minutes. So, out of 5 stars, you get 0.90 stars by comparative ratio.