GP Classic Racing 1_5stars.gif
If I didn’t have to break to 20KM or 20 mile an hour around a corner in any car I choose, this might have faired better. It feels like you have to fucking break a KM back before the corner. Just another FUCKING GAME with shitty controls. Why Wii games? WHY?!!? So I am going really fast and I just want to make a slight turn to the left or right. So, that is what I do with the controls. And it seems alright until I fucking careen out of control head first into a wall. I try it again. Same thing. So if I have to make any movement from straight, I have to apply to the breaks. Man, driving isn’t that shitty in real life. Why make it so in this game?
If you ignore that fact, what I need you to do is think of something exciting. Got it? Well, this is not that. It’s the opposite. Ya know, classic doesn’t mean boring. If I paid money for this piece of shit, I would have gone back to EB, told them to eat a dick for selling me this game and then ask for my money back. No, demand my money back. So many man hours wasted on this.

Kawasaki Snowmobiles 1_5stars.gif
I turn left and I slide. And not some kind of controlled slide I can safely recover from. If I broke and took the corner, I still slide all over the place. Like the course is lined with black ice. The sort of slide that you then have to jerk the control the absolute other way. Then, I start sliding the other way, and so I jerk the controls back the other and I end up spending all race trying to adapt to these shitty controls. So, I crack the shits and find a better game. Take a breather. Play something more fun. Because ultimately, that is all I wanna do, right? Play a game because it is fun? This game is designed as an arcade-style game without the controls to really back the feel of the game.
Several hours later, I come back to this game because I don’t want to instantly dismiss it from a furious outburst (which I am prone to every now and again when things don’t go my way). That and I am fucking dumb. I mean, not as stupid as my next door neighbour but that guy can eat a dick laced with Arsenic and die a slow and painful death but that is another entry. I’ve done this several times for several different games because I thought it was my shitty playing that renders these games a lot harder than they need to be.
WHAT THE FUCK YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! Sliding all over the fucking screen again. I did some troubleshooting ignoring that it could be the game that sucks shit out of my arsehole. I sat closer to the screen, I used a different control, I sat to the left, I sat to the right of my TV. I did some more practicing which I did get better at but the bottom line is this still fucking sucks.

Hannah Montana 1_5stars.gif
I didn’t give it a low score because it was Hannah Montana. I understand that it is already it is behind the eight ball. I had to play this on a Saturday night without my wife or friends around because you can not even joke about this shit.
“Hey guys, haha, look at this…best, game, ever. Lets play it! It’ll be a blast!”
*screeeeeeeeeeeeeerp*
The sound of almost dead silence with the exception of crickets outside as no one laughed and a single cough. You can actually lose friends if you’re not a 10 year old girl playing this game.
So, OK this is not the right demographic. But, I wanted to see how it plays out and what kind of game I am really dealing with here.
You can walk between her dressing room, her practice room, shopping in which ever city you are performing at and the stage. You have a set of actions you have to do during a song and each level is a different song on a different stage. I can do wanky air guitar strums or point and click at the screen or point the controller up, down, left or right. There’s probably more to it but the wife came down to see what I was doing and I turned it off before she knew. I couldn’t live with that kind of shame.

Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers 3_stars.gif
I am writing another entry about how people buy endless shitty first person shooters that are just like all the other games before it. That sort of mentality is why you would be interested in this game: mindless violence. It is fun to begin with. It’s easy to pick up and the moves make sense which are awesome. You move using the Nunchuck. And you slice through zombies with spurts of blood with the Wii controller. Too many Wii games with wanky controls and this isn’t one of them although, I can’t feel but help the moving of your sword like you move your Wii controller is merely a novelty which gives you a case of wankers cramp after playing awhile.
The story is the most half arsed story I have played in a game for ages, that seems to be translated from Japanese poorly.

There was a girl. She had some bad blood. What will it do? What are those echos?

Except not that good. And more drawn out.
I tried to get into the story, but I chose the chick in the Blue Dress. And after every level, it tells you more of the story. Which was actually the exact same thing she said the level before: she can’t control the baneful blood and she doesn’t know what is going to happen. Neither do we. She becomes insane at the end but by that stage, you don’t really care. Having said that with all of its flaws, I’d go back and play it (not on a regular basis) but there will have to be improvements if you want me to play any sort of a sequel.

EA Playground 2_5stars.gif
This has plenty of mini games that are more or less OK. One or two games were pretty exciting but not enough for you to rush out and buy this game (unless it was from a bargain bin). Graphics are nothing special. The idea of walking around a playground and talking to kids and playing games with kids is slightly unsettling if you’re not a pedo (or a child). Alright, so the demographic is not really apt for me. But, even if you’re young (I’d be asking the question what are you doing on my site to begin with but anyway), there are plenty of other alternatives. This is one of those multi-player/party games. Still, there are better games.