Sexy Beast - 63%
Surprisingly short film. The most interesting thing about this film is the movie is less about our protagonist and more about Ben Kingsley - a member of the mob who is sent to Ray Whitestone to recruit him for one last job even though Ray has retired from being a mobster awhile ago. Unfortunately, that is really where it stops. As far as the story is concerned, it was so very straight forward and not a great happens. If you are going to be a Guy Ritchie wannabe, this is not a bad start considering Ritchie has only really made 3 movies really worth watching. The critics on RT was giving it recommendations on the basis of its script and Ben Kingsley. Which if you use the word “fuck” every second word to give the authentic mobster feel, you might be correct but even though they are spot on about Ben Kingsley’s performance, I don’t really have too much else to recommend here.

A Complete List of my Sexual Failures - 46%
It starts out as a dude trying to go back to all the girlfriends he has lost over the time (and man, there is fuckloads which leads me to believe anyone out there can find someone) and find out what it is he does (or doesn’t do) to make all his previous girlfriends break up with him. If we assume everything here is not staged, the film has moments of uninteresting filler. Our main character, Christopher, seems like he is missing a personality. He says some pretty outlandish stuff to these women which makes me question how he gets a girl to begin with but until his Mum comes into the picture, none of his ex’s really wanna see him. We find out he has been having erection problems (which was my first guess as to why all of his relationships fail) since the breakup of his longest-lasting relationship which seems like she misses him, too. They don’t get back together but something else happens. The series of events which unfold boarderlines on interesting/funny and bored out of my fucking mind.

Shortbus - 57%
This movie ended up in the news due to frequent nudity and hard fucking scenes. In this day and age, it’s gunna have to take a lot more to shock me. It’s too hard for softcore porn but not hard enough to be regular porn. The storyline is not bad and there are moments which careen between really great and the mediocre but ultimately, it is about the characters: an American-Asian sex therapist, a gay couple, a stalker, some dude who wanna bangs the gay couple and Jennifer Aniston. Although to be fair it’s not the Jennifer Aniston we all know. You find out that all of these people are six ways from fucked in the head (except for one of the dudes in the gay couple) and the Shortbus is just this place where weirdos get together and hangout or fuck each other depending on what you’re in to. To be vulgar, there really was too much gay sex and cock for me to enjoy it without cringing. It’s not to say I am a homophobe but what they do in their own privacy is entirely up to them. Don’t film it and pretend it’s art. It’s not bad but not incredibly good, either. The highlight of this film is actually the city shots.

L.I.E. - 56%
This movie explores the relationship between a boy without a Mum (she died on the Long Island Expressway (L.I.E.)), a shonky-as-fuck Dad, a gay friend and a pedophile. I understand the film and how a relationship develops and how this man takes care of the boy but I was really expecting something far worse when I read the synopsis. He’s not a troubled kid but just hung around the wrong crowd. Our protagonist’s friend, Gary is a theif and does regular robberies around the area. The movie plods along at a reasonable speed with not a great deal happening to keep you interested but this is not that kind of movie. The relationship of the child really seeking a Father figure and found a pedophile instead has an interesting spin but as a whole is not interesting enough. The ending of the film was rather abrupt and felt forced as a method to give the film closure.