Recently I have seen: Testosterone, Miss March, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Surviving Christmas, Deck the Halls, I know who killed me and Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever.
Just to put things in perspective, Testosterone is the bottom of the barrel. In fact, if there was a level below the bottom of the barrel that is where I place this tedius film.

Miss March was made by the guys who did Whitest Kids U Know which is a funny Canadian comedy. I have no idea what it is but there always seems to be issues with TV actors/directors/etc attempting to do a movie and failing epically. While this movie was not very good, it still was not THAT bad. The 4% was totally harsh and it undeservedly rated 39 in the list.

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 was fucked and deserves everything it gets. It’s that bad, even Hilary Duff looks unattractive in it.

The major issue with Surviving Christmas is it has Ben Affleck in it. It’s only saving grace is James Gandolfini. Unfortunately James Gandolfini does not take out a gun and blow Ben Affleck’s fuckin head right off. That would have made a great film. And it also would have shortened the film to 10 minutes. Which is actually 9 more minutes I can stand of the original film.

I don’t know what it is but I like Matthew Broderick. There is something about his style that appeals to him. Unfortunately he was in Deck the Halls with Danny DeVito which actually took away any Christmas cheer I had and turned it in unstoppable nerd rage. After watching this film, I actually liked Matthew Broderick a little less. I didn’t give a shit about Danny DeVito before the film and after seeing the film, I am indifferent.

This is probably a statement I am going to regret later but I know who killed me was not THAT bad. I mean, it was still pretty crap but not total shit. According to “The Movie Boy”: “Lohan’s stripteases and pole-swinging theatrics at the gentleman’s club are notable for being genuinely steamy, sleekly shot and choreographed”. I do not know which movie they were watching but I bet after that pole dance, that pole now has an several more different types of chlamydia. Not steamy in my books; I guess whatever gets you going. It did an effective use of blue. However, it was never explained the significance of the blue to any great degree. One thing was certain: the FBI portion to this film was absolutely fucking pointless as they were less than help than reading glasses to a blind man. It also wasn’t very clear that the family that had Aubrey was paying Dakota’s Mum’s crack addiction. And gave the viewer absolutely no insight as to why Norquist was the way he was. Just that he killed once and that he attempted to kill Aubrey but was unable to because of stigmata. Lindsay Lohan was not the best choice for her role as twins but let’s face it, I could be worse: Paris Hilton. With ALL these negative aspects to the film it did leave you guessing as to what the fuck was going on. I guess when you found out, the care factor deteriorated to 0.

Ballistic was an action film with an unlikely high body count. Rottentomatoes pegged this as number 1 in the last 10 years as being the truly worst film but I am still not convinced. Did they all see Testosterone? That was far worse. And perhaps Surviving Christmas. What I am certain is Cheaper by the Dozen 2 was far worse. It will the butt of my jokes for the next little while. I haven’t seen the Pink Panther movies and they look absolutely disasterous. It was a turn-your-mind-off and let the explosions take you where ever. Oh, and don’t expect the acting to be any good. The plot wasn’t deep but it flowed which is…something. I guess.