You guys know me. A word smith with an arsenal of words to put together a delicate and thoughtful tribute.
SO yeah…Michael Jackson - dead. BLAMMO! Carked it a week or so ago and people are STILL bangin on about it. I shouldn’t care that people care so much but seriously people, move on. Are your own lives so dull that you must live it through someone else?

I understand that yes, he sold a ridiculous amount of albums easily in the millions (750 Million at last count). Yes, he went through a streak of albums that are indeed classics. Yes, he devoted his whole life to music, entertaining and put on shows that were epic. No amount of television coverage is going to make him get some form of special rigor mortis where his body becomes stiff enough to hold himself up like the zombies in the, “Thriller” video clip and dance his way back into our hearts.
According to Lisa Marie, she said that she wished that her husband (while they were together) was as stiff as he is now. Zing.

But what about every other artist out there who is equally talented (and on occasion more talented) but not as popular…what about him/her/them? Are fan’s lives going to be as effected as this psychotic world that Jackson has managed to conjure his fans up into? No. He does weird shit in his personal life and people make connections with that in some form of fucked up way. There was a group of fans who stood outside of the court when he was being accused and prosecuted with touching kids. Not my cup of tea but that group stood up for Jackson saying he didn’t do it. Like Jackson’s life meant something more than a musician/entertainer. The case was thrown away and Jacko won, but did he REALLY win?

The stories that came from his death have gone from the facts, “Died from a heart attack…”etc to the most far-fetched shit you have ever heard in your life. There were stories about how people’s lives fell apart when they found out about his dead and I couldn’t help but laugh. They might have even committed suicide over Jackson’s death. People’s lives are so sad that once his life ends, so does yours? That is not only some truly fucked up shit but really sad in a pathetic kind of way. They are going so far that this video wound up on the news:


While that is kinda freaky, that could be any one or somebodies shadow. Idiots.
Or the story about how they found Jacko’s face in tree stump.
1. Who the fuck cares?
2. That stump looks like a stump you retards.

People were obsessed the world over when Jackson was ever mentioned in the news for the good, the bad and the child molestation. To put things into perspective, they banged on about Princess Di for a month plus when she went 6 feet under. And Jacko is more popular than Snooty-pooty Di so this is going last for some time to come.

The good thing about his death is that Jackson will finally get some rest.

So I leave you with a handful of (appropriate) Michael Jackson jokes in his memory:
What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? A: They both like a little crack now and then.
What makes Michael Jackson so unique? A: It’s the little boy inside him.
Why did Michael Jackson Check into the Betty Ford clinic? A: To get over his 11 year crack habit.
When Jackson died, he asked to be cremated so he could be melted down into a PlayStation so the kids could play with him.
When watching Michael Jackson’s coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words: Cool Runnings?
On the day of Jacko’s death, there was some confusion. The report said that he was found in the Children’s ward having a stroke.
That same report said his actual death was from food poisoning after eating 12 year old nuts.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and zits? Zits didn’t come on Macaulay Culkin’s face till he was 13.
Michael Jackson sued Rio for false advertising after purchasing an entire truckload of men’s briefs. This is why we no longer hear the term “Tighty Whities” used in their commercials.
Hungry Jacks (of Burger King if you come from the US) recently made tribute to Jacko with the his own burger. The ingredients? 50 year old meat between 8 year old buns.
What do Michael Jackson and Tiger Woods have´╗┐ in common? They are both famous for playing with little white balls.

Classic.