It’s easy. Search - Worst Band Ever in youtube and you get about 3000 responses. You really know you suck worse than any other band when you don’t even make it to the top 1000 responses of that particular search.


Let me break down this video for you. Firstly, they’re missing a drummer. Slowed the songs down or maybe used the bass a good melody or some shit. The use of both instruments aren’t bad as I am sure both these guys go on to bigger and better things. I am sure if they did a song that didn’t suck it might have a chance. This sounds like the unstructured musings of Captain Beefheart except not even vaguely in the same league.


Sadly, the world of music has produced worse stuff than this. At least the drummer is sort of not shit when he gets into it. I mean he does not contain even 1/100,000 of the talent of Travis Barker but he is clearly the best instrumentalist of the band. The vocals are what I would expect a tone-deaf cat to sound like with the guitars are dreadfully tinny (could be the recording, though). And the saddest possible aspect of this video is they’re covering Blink 182. Unfortunately in the world of a 15 year old, covering Blink 182 seems like a good idea. Why? Fucks me. There’s a million other bands out there which produced at least one song each which would be better covered than this song they chose. Especially as their skill level, this could not have been a worse decision.


To get an idea of this band skip to the 3:01 mark. Listen to it for 2 seconds. Rinse and repeat. I would like to say they’re an Avantgarde band since they’re missing a drummer but they have a trumpet player. Melt Banana are a noise band. And they are good. These guys are plain ol’ noise and shit. The funny part about this is prior to the song, they talk about how they’re selling CDs. Wow. They managed to capture the brilliance of their music onto a format which I can take home with me? Great. Once the band sobers the fuck up, they will realise what a fucked idea it was to think anyone would buy their music. I wouldn’t even download it for free and waste precious hard drive space.


Just shit. Imagine bad karaoke. This is worse than that. Just to note: William Hung was worse than bad karaoke for more reasons than one. So is this.


The video itself is not really that funny. But coupled with the title of this video - “Worst shredding ever. Guy rapes guitar.”, it is seriously the funniest shit ever.


Worst metal video clip? I don’t think so. Firstly you have some pretty famous people in this video clip, I’m pretty sure. Like Bill Bailey, the lead singer from Suicidal Tendencies, James Hetfield, Leo Sawyer, Dio and some guy in a plaid kilt (even though I’m pretty sure it’s a skirt/dress). The greatest part of this video clip apart from the low production values and low cost would be the fat dude’s fingers on the keyboard around the ~1:20 mark. By the look of it, that fatty is mashin them keys because one of his fingers is bigger than a key on the keyboard. Maybe you should eat more donuts and less keyboard solos, fatty. Nom nom nom.


For one string, this guy certainly makes the most out of it. Not too bad. Certainly the polar opposite of the shit you saw previously.


I figured all metal heads were like this guy.





A self-proclaimed “shit” guitarist. This guy shreds. He’s also a self-proclaimed wanker, too. Shit guitarist, indeed. If I was even half that good, I’d be in the Alan Parsons Project.



Christian bands, gotta love ‘em. Well actually, you don’t and either do I. This video is so very sad. At ~1:45 mark, there are two girls that go up to the drummer and get him to sign their copy of the CDs. Not only could you tell it was forced but the enthusiasm was so sarcastic, I could only laugh. And then they talk about getting a record contract and how busy they are marketing the band? An absolute riot. The only positive thing I can say (and you do know I try hard to find something positive to say) is the black and white production. That might have more to do with the lack of funds rather than purposeful artistic impression.


What makes this particular video a little scary is this bitches not only sound like they find it harder to carry a tune than it is to carry dark matter but this video is from a music school in Italy. And have been studying music for years.


They cover, “Californication” by the Chilli Willy’s and to be honest with you, don’t even bother watching it. I’ve watched it once and to save you time and bandwidth, just ignore this video. HOWEVER, for those drummers out there, watch from ~3:14 as there is a sick drum solo. It does look a little forced and out of place in the song since the original does not warrant a drum solo nor should this cover which they have clearly butchered. The drummer during this period looks like he is having an epileptic fit. I am not sure who to compare this to. Neil Pert? Keith Moon? John Bonham? Next time he goes to attempt at another extremely poor (and hilarious) drum solo, get him to bite down on a piece of cardboard so the guy doesn’t swallow and choke on his tongue. The sound quality certainly hinders the song but the equipment used is also poor and should not be attempted by anyone apart from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.