I’ve had an email in my inbox from the dark ages and have been casually ignoring it until I could be fucked doing anything. Now I am rushing to just post this because I am working on a new review! WOO!
50 Worst Video Game Endings
100 Best Video Games of the Decade
50 Best Dreamcast Games
Best Dreamcast Games (Not According to Me)
6 Degrees Kevin Bacon
Retro gaming is a love of mine - let’s no fuck around here. The very first console I owned was a Sega Master System and it was an amazing console. So I thought I should go back and buy one and all the games for it. This plan is on hold for awhile but found a Top 20 SMS games list which is pretty excellent. I wouldn’t 100% as they are missing some pretty excellent games but a pretty good list none-the-same.
Then I found this link about How the Sega Master System was the most underrated system. Cool story, bro.
I also found a really cool mod of the Sega Game Gear being converted into a TV-based console and made to look like a Sega Master System. It would be an even better mod if the Game Gear had enough games to warrant such a mod past a collectors item.
I also found this; I’m sold!
I have an unnatural obsession for certain things. Certain things give me boners - tits, toasters, Swedish bisexual Tranny hookers…man, I don’t know WHAT it wants sometimes. But the one constant, and that is my love for video games.
So I have been collecting Sega Saturn games and I found this link about Sega Saturn Games We’d Like to see in HD and that list would be pretty fucking good EXCEPT Battle Monsters. That game was shit.
NeoGeo are going to be releasing Neo Geo X which is a Neo Geo handheld system. Being a big fan of Neo Geo, I would love to be able to carry around the games in my pocket and play them when I am not watching porn on my phone.
I also found 3 other devices which looked pretty cool:
The Caanoo which lets you play emulation and is a portable.
An Everdrive which allows you to put SNES ROMs onto an SD card and play it on your SNES. It’s a weird idea because you would have thought anyone who still owns a SNES probably would only want to play the original carts. I still don’t mind emulation but that is only because I couldn’t play it on the actual console.
And a Retrode 2 which allows you to connect up your Genesis/Mega Drive/SNES carts via USB to a PC or the Caanoo I spoke about earlier and play them with the original controllers.
Analysts Say Call Of Duty & The FPS Genre ‘Seem Tired’
Seem? You gotta be fucking kidding me. Every FPS (first person shooter) between Quake 1 and now have all just been clones for the most part with various improvements. There have been games along the way that have made some pretty major differences but for one genre-enhancing game, there’s 30 shitty clones. And there are more FPS’ which are pumped out as “triple a” titles than any other genre.
The thing is, any complaint I make about an FPS can be said for any kind of game that I like. The only difference is lack of understanding as to why FPS’ as so popular. You can’t even use the argument that old games were better because every game you used to love was the result of improvement in technology for the time. And whatever you were playing back then was only a product of its time, too. The difference is the fad these days is FPS’ and zombie games (HOLY FUCKING SHIT do I hate Zombie games) much like racing games, 1-on-1 fighting games and platformers were a fad of their time too. Ultimately it just comes down to opinion which is what pisses me off that you see so many defensive kids (and I better hope their kids because they act like spoilt 14 years old brats) on the forums and popular websites hailing the next FPS as this great unique game when they couldn’t identify unique even if it was pointed out to them in a line up. I would much less take a bullet to the fucking knee than play another FPS but unfortunately, kids these days only wanna shoot shit. Everything reckless about games I love are still present in todays games but there is such a daftness and dullness to them that even though they reward you for doing bad shit, it still feels pretty unrewarding. Whereas games like Carmageddon and Road Rash had an extra certain something the new wave of kids are going to miss out on.
My favourite game of all time is the Sims. So I found some games out there in the world that are amazing. By that I mean favourite game I avoid at all costs. And they should be noted or put in the Guinness World Book of Records for being too much fun:
Tokyo Bus Guide 2
Street Cleaning Simulator
Garbage Truck Simulator (HD)
Der Omnibus Simulator
And Woodcutter Simulator:
Amazing. I do a boring office desk job. Maybe they should do a simulator of that. Import all that data into a database! You have 3 days. GO!
The problem with opening a video which says DON’T BUY THESE VIDEO GAMES, the very first thing I want to now do is try and track the original discs down and buy them on ebay for a couple of bucks.
I know they’re bad games. Some research and enough youtube videos will tell me this.
It’s the wet paint sign all over again.
Addiction is fucked. But what gets me pissed off is people calling drug addition a disease. Alcoholic Hepatitis or Scarlet Fever are a disease. Not making the conscience decision to take drugs. I understand that there are personal underlying issues that make the decision for people but a disease? What a fucking cop out.
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I am starting a list of games that are too hard to play. And not one of those, “I got stuck at a point but I figured out how to beat that guy and now I am on the last level/finished the game”. Because that is like fucking most games. This is one of those, I’VE FUCKING TRIED EVERYTHING AND EVEN RESTARTED THE GAME WITH DIFFERENT TACTICS ONLY TO FIND MYSELF AT THE SAME/SIMILAR POINT OF FAILURE WHICH MAKES ME RAGE. SO HARD. SORRY FOR THE YELLING AND CAPS BUT I FELT THIS WAS THE WAY TO ENSURE I GOT THE MESSAGE OF MY RAGE AND ANGER ACROSS.
An easy game can actually be relaxing. You know you can beat it so you just go through the motions. Some people find this boring. What I find boring is not the difficulty but what I’m actually doing in a game which can be running around, shooting and killing enemies in a generic FPS.
But a game that is too hard? I don’t appreciate those types of challenges in my life. Let me mash keys or buttons on my controller until it says I win and have finished the game.
Serious Sam: The Random Encounter
I am third level in and no matter what weapon I choose or item I use, I always die. I can only dodge attacks by going up or down on the screen. What happens to attacks that are shot up and fall down on the screen? You have no way of dodging them. I have played a shitload of shumps that were hard but at least you could always dodge the bullets. I have tried and tried. I knew I was in trouble when I started dying way too quickly on level 2. A gun that can attack at a distance is too weak. A gun that is powerful or attacks closely does not reload quick enough to kill of the wave of enemies.
To summarise, your weapons are largely ineffective and you have nowhere to dodge attacks. Fuck this, I am going to go play Plants Vs Zombies.
Magicka
You’re a wizard. You have to go beat the bad guy ’cause he did some bad shit. Yep, I got it. You have 8 different types of magic. And you can combine 5 of them to make a really cool attack move. You have a close attack sword which gets progressively better but it doesn’t seem to make dick all difference how good it is because ultimately if they got that close in the first place, you’re fucked. It’s a last resort.
I got a fair way into this game before I got to this section where you have to beat wizards who are not only just as powerful as you, they are a lot quicker at finding an attack which combats yours ultimately leading to button bashing to make your attacks change so frequently, they don’t have time to work out how to counter attack you. And each of the 8 types of magic are a key on the keyboard which means I am gunna have to know my keyboard like I know masturbating: pretty fucking good. It became one-sided and just downright unfair. Fuck this, I am going to go play Peggle.
What I hate more than hard games are arseholes who say it was too easy to beat. Fucking gets me so fucking pissed.
