2 Inches Of Fury

Something Worth Reading.

The Ed Wood Of Video Games

Within my own interests are two things I have a fascination with: the extremely great and the extremely bad.
And when it is good, it is ultimately just me giving praise and having a wankfest over whatever it is that makes me hard. When it is bad, it also gives me a rubbery one but in more of confused erection way like you would over a toaster your stove. But this time, there is nothing confused about it. Anyone can do a lazily programmed game but it takes a special team to make something truly shit. In the same way anyone can do a shitty video on youtube but it takes a special team to make something spectacularly shithouse like, “Friday” by Rebecca Black.
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It was only a matter of time. They have released the i’mwatch. You can see a video of it here. It does everything you could possibly want in a watch - email, SMS, facebook, twitter, weather, host your email contacts on a high res screen. Oh, and it will tell you the time, too. But that is only in the updated revision. Since a watch is joined to your wrist which is joined to your hand, it will literally give you a handjob if you so desire. You just have to wear one while stroking it. Which is what it feels like the makers of the video were doing when they made that video.

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Just Cause It Says You’re a Windows IT Pro, Does Not Mean Your Arguments Are Valid.

I found this entry that was written by some clown who believes he is an Windows IT Pro. The whole thing is a waste of time if you simply want to read paragraphs on why Google is so fucking evil with Android. I read it all to the end in hope that there was some substantial evidence or something new and interesting he could tell me that I didn’t know about the device, but this wanker offered hate mongering on Android. Argh, I guess I am just pissed ’cause I wasted my fucking time.
Although, this guy seems to phrase it better.

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A Middle Finger to Technology in a Non-Technophobic Way

In a way, this entry is dedicated to Boggs and you will find out why a little further down. I am looking at upgrading my computer very shortly as my current computer has a mouse running on a wheel for a CPU. And before you say anything yes, the chip I currently have in there is a Dorito / I wax my modem to make it go faster / I’m usin’ a 286 don’t make me laugh / My Windows boots up in a day and a half? / I could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette / I’m the biggest joke on the Internet / You got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide / Mine says “Etch-A-Sketch” on the side..etc.

My computer has lasted 3 years and it feels like it could probably last another year or two but everything I am asking it to do is just too slow. Plus, we’re now at a stage where everything technically in the machine has been far superseded many times over. But, then it got me thinking, what were (and perhaps still in production) the worst computers ever built? And why stop there? Why not just technology in general?
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Google (Infographic)

For the proper, blown up version of this, click here.

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You seen this shit?
There is a product called The iCade.
If you have too much money and nothing to spend it on, you probably have an iPad. If there is only one possible way to make it from piece of shit to less of a nasty piece of shit, it is this thing.

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Steve Jobs is Dead

Steve Jobs (Jobsy to some) has died.
I know I’ve taken a lot of piss on some of the ideas that Apple have tried to brand as their own and the highway robbery which is their iTunes store, but Steve will be missed by millions. I never knew you as a human being to comment on you as a person but I know you be missed the most by friends, family and the new CEO of Apple who always turned to Jobs for new areas of the market to extort. Don’t worry though new CEO, I’ve come up with an idea: up everything in the iTunes store in 8c increments every few months. Everything will be more ridiculously expensive than it already needs to be so your shareholders will stay happy.
RIP Steve.

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Nintendo Next Gen

People are getting hard over the next Nintendo console which is due for release next year. And what is even more baffling is how people are arguing about the wrong things. Things that don’t matter or simply misguided. People argue that the controller looks awkward and would be shit to use.
Have you actually used this controller? No. Any of the gaming websites have mentioned it handles better than it looks. Everyone else doesn’t know shit. They’re just trying to troll.
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