I have watched a few movies in the last few months so I am going to my absolute best to rate each one. I also added in a few from the Archives which I watched in the last couple of months.

Anvil: The Story Of Anvil - 93%
An exceptional movie about a failed metal band and why they failed. Both funny and sad (being male, this means funny and sad are almost my entire emotional pallet). The leader is very remaniscent of the main character from the movie American Movie - determined to live out his vision, whatever the cost.

Slipstream - 64%
The common complaint by most critics was that it was unwatchable. I don’t entirely agree but what is amazing is this is an Anthony Hopkins film I didn’t think he was capable of making. This certainly adds a dimension to Anthony Hopkins that I didn’t know existed. The way I see this movie is the movie which would precede his opus of a similar style.

The Hoax - 79%
I never thought I would see Richard Gere in a film I actually liked. Before this movie, I roped him into second-rate actions and chick flicks that I couldn’t give a laxitive-induced shit about. But this being about Howard Hughes was highly engaging.

He Was A Quiet Man - 70%
I have always wanted to see Christian Slater in a film that I like and this is it. There were moments that started to turn from an interesting story into bland soppy shit (which I should have really seen coming but didn’t) but then it saved itself towards the end.

Eddie Izzard Stripped Live (DVD) - 73%
I have another stand up Eddie Izzard DVD and it is nowhere near as good as this intelligent and insightful routine even though there are moments he uses lame wordplay to get a laugh.

Where the Wild Things Are - 48%
I love Spike Jonze but did not think much of this film which is a shame. It had the right message and absolutely beautiful cinematography but the simple dialogue and the momentum of the film really lets it down. For most of it, instead of being dreamy, I was bored. That and I am not sure of its demographic. Simple dialogue assumes it is for the kiddies but the tone is too dark for children.

88 Minutes - 39%
Pacino could do better. If Beamsy can passively guess who did it 20 minutes in, it is hardly unpredictable on-the-edge-of-your-seat thrilling. Certainly nowhere near as bad as RT would leave you to believe. I’ve seen far worse films.

Thr3e - 26%
If there were better actors and it was filmed better and it was edited better, it would have been a better film. And if they left out the bits at the start and end as it had no bearing on the rest of the film. Seemed like filler to me which is certainly not a positive aspect in a music album which translates even worse in a movie.

Testosterone - 0%
THE worst film I have ever seen. If I am going to watch a bad movie, I am going to compare it to this. It makes Howard the Duck look like a piece of masterful art of genius cinematography.

Boat Trip - 12%
This 90 minute-laughless “comedy” starring Cuba Gooding Jr has only one thing going for it - a surprising cameo by Will Farrell. Every joke was predictable as fuck.

I Know Who Killed Me - 17%
This movie ended up on the Wiki page of worse films of all time. I think with Lindsay Lohan, if she doesn’t make brilliant pieces of cinema and makes bad personal decisions, the critics have a field day at her expense which is not entirely fair. There was one positive to come out of this film - the effective use of Blue Vs. Red.

Cheaper By The Dozen 2 - 6%
Steve Martin, what the FUCK were you thinking? Fuckin terrible. Bowfinger was a great film. Ever since you’ve done nothing but shit. You really need a new agent. This was a sequel of a movie that didn’t need a sequel.

Deck The Halls - 8%
I don’t think I have seen ANYTHING with Danny DeVito in it that I like. You can add this one to that list. This movie only made me feel LESS festive than I already did after watching this film. Is it a comedy? I couldn’t really tell. I think they were going for laughs but I just never knew.

Extreme Ops - 19%
With this film you have to review with two scores. Scoring it as a movie and then as a snowboarding/skiing video. As a snowboarding/skiing film it is quite alright. At the start of the film it hints at a story line. And then snowboarding action for an hour and then it was like the people making the filim went, “Oh shit, we were doing a movie right? Fuck, what was the rest of the script? Anyone got it?” The acting is more wooden than my morning glory and the story is so slight and half-baked, if it was food you wouldn’t even consider consuming it and look at it with complete disgust.

College - 31%
Nothing new in the cannon of teen films and not a particularly funny one but it was entertaining in parts. It was a nice surprised to see it had Zach from Whitest Kids U Know in it.

Ballistic Ecks Vs Sever - 21%
The 0% it received (in RT) was a tad bit harsh but if you add my snapshot to the list of other critics it would have done the movie no favours. I didn’t think it was entirely inept as the story (or whatever there was of a story) was strung together almost smoothly and while the acting was pretty bad, it was essentially just a mindless action film. Turn off your brain and don’t feel challenged at the dead bodies everywhere. Not to mention the far-fetched unreal stunts being pulled. Being an action film I don’t really set a bar terribly high. Especially one from the Hollywood machine.

Surviving Christmas - 20%
I should have rated this far worse but I get this feeling that the inspiration for James Gandolphini’s character (being bitter and generally unhappy) was his contractual obligation to show up in this abortion of a film. That or taking any gig that will have him. Poor decision but an exceptional shitfest for Ben Affleck.

All About Steve - 28%
I think Sandra Bullock is HOT. However, what pains me in this film (which critics said was an awkward as fuck film with the lead character you pity than root for which I do agree with) is their constant need to make comparisons between life and crossword puzzles. I would love to see another movie with Sandra Bullock in it that I will actually like. Bradley Cooper is a giant dick. I would love to have a crazy woman like Sandra Bullock after me. Especially after she rapes me in my own car. I guess you can’t call it rape it when I enjoyed it. I guess there are two kinds of psycho, though. There is the character that Sandra Bullock played who is harmless bag of crazy and then there is Mandy from the TV show on Comedy Channel, Secret Girlfriend. Who is likely to tie you up to your bed for days at a time and then harvest an organ or two when you come to just so she could feel what it would be like to be in you. And then break up with you and get back together 11 times every day.

Extract - 30%
It was a Mike Judge film and was mostly a character exercize with a simple story. I was bored and the characters I was frustrated at. I was expecting something epic to come out of this movie…ya know, something like Office Space? Remember that movie? Remember some of the absolute classic characters which anyone who has ever had an office job can relate to not to mention the absolute classic scenes like the printer scene. This had none of that and characters with defining quirks but just not enough to be enjoyable.

Death To Smoochy - 49%
I almost enjoyed this film. I certainly think pretty highly of Edward Norton (especially after his role in Fight Club) but this was a minor let down. It could have been a laughfest but meh.

Step Brothers - 11%
It seems harsh to give it such a poor rating but it is more harsh to make me sit through a laughless hour and a half. There was a laugh or two but otherwise an infuriating movie. At least with Boat Trip there was some entertainment value even if there were no laughs.