TV is free and thanks to the internet is absolutely free.
And because it is free, we should not complain…right? Well, I don’t mind when it is quality television viewing and I am quite tolerant of most television shows regardless on how formulated, contrived and incredibly boring they are. But there are some cheap shows that layer on the bullshit extra thick. Here is some examples:

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They start off with 12 (I think) extremely boring people. They do challenges so their intended audience (being 12-14 year old girls and anyone who has had a lobotomy) do not end up with some sort of cerebral hemorrhaging or simply pass out from lack of oxygen to the brain.
And if they want to have sex with each other, they do it under the covers so no one can see it. And they call this, “Big Brother Up Late”. Also known as softcore porn.


The thing is, they take the exact same stereotypical person (must be 18-28, no brains, good looks and the personality of cardboard). The men are giant tools with nothing to really live for but they’re too stupid to know that as they spend most of the time in the mirror looking at how good they think they are and the women are all bitchy towards each other and they too spend a lot of time talking about who they hate and how great they are. Their topics are mundane (in fact, most people on the show don’t have the word mundane in their vernacular). You couldn’t have a conversation about Vivaldi or how great Frasier is. Or talk about the brae and Pinot Noir they enjoyed overlooking Lake Baroon. I guess they are kinda restricted when you can only talk about Family Guy and Simpsons references for only so long before we all know what you’re about to reference.
When it first came out, people were excited as this was all new and it was filmed not very far from where I live so you could go down and as time got on, the ratings got worse and after 9 extremely long seasons, they have called it quits (for now). Thank fuck. :)

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They get 12 lard arses who are in dire straits and really need to get motivation to do anything. If they did not end up on this show, would they have died from obesity? Which is a sad state of affairs. It plays with people’s emotions as they watch each one of them being voted off the show. It makes audiences care about people who got into their condition by neglect. If these people’s body were children, child services would have intervened and taken their body’s away.

The title of show does my head in because what happens to the first one who leaves the show? Is he the biggest or the smallest loser? Are they all losers be default for ending up on the show and the fattest is the biggest loser? Or just the person who wins the competition? Does the help stop there for the first one voted off because he lost the least amount of weight? What happens if he was a big fatty who did honestly try and didn’t make the grade? Could this person sue the show for the same neglect they gave their body?

I was looking around for a picture of a couple of fatties to add to my site and I found this site:
http://leatherheadbl … people-in-the-world/
It’s both funny and sad. I felt my heart sinking into my chest. I don’t know whether that was guilt of laughing so hard or the fact that I ate a whole block of butter?

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We were eating dinner because it was 7PM and that is what 99% of families do. If you looked up the definition of normal, firstly you would be surprised to find out that it was written by someone who had a skewed vision of the world. Secondly, you will find that people eat between the hours of 5 and 8PM. Sometimes later for those who work unconventional shifts. Normalcy is overrated, anyway.
The point to all of this is the very first ad we saw for this show were the critics going through the food and this is exactly what was said, “What is this? Is this a fingernail in the food?” That was it. Never watching that show. Ever.
To put this show into perspective,
It’s like Iron Chef without the comedy, entertainment value and extreme ingredients.
It’s like Hell’s Kitchen without Gordon Ramsey.
It’s like Better Homes and Gardens but somehow worse.
It’s like the Lifestyle channel on cable except only 30 minutes long.
It’s like eating shit with a piece of corn in it. Apart from spending 5 seconds munching on that piece of corn, you’re still essentially eating shit.
It’s worse than the worse can of rock nuts you have ever had. The only solace you can take is the pain goes away after 30 minutes when the show is over.

Australia’s Best Couples
This show is so bad, I couldn’t even find a picture of the show’s logo in google images.
I don’t know who thought of this show up, but who ever thought not only would it make good watching but also gain enough audience to be more than a 3 show wonder is fucked in the head.
The concept is: take perfectly good, working couples (who are clearly the height of dysfunction; the sort you would expect on Jerry Springer except not a trailer trashy) and force them to tell truths about themselves to the other person that are so bad, that there is not a single relationship that could get through it and see if the relationship lasts.
My thought is be honest in the first place. You got herpes or VD? You shoulda told him, you skank.
Get that shit treated and don’t open your legs to any male who makes wild promises he can’t keep.
Does he really need to know that he is your 131st boyfriend? Probably not.
And dude, that rash your dick? That is not dermatitis.

Australian Idol
I struggle every time I see even the ads for this show how so many people can be bothered watching it. The formulated winner in this show every single year sounds like the winner before it. The process that picks this winner every year is not even interesting. To add insult to injury every singer gives an embarrassingly poor attempt at singing cover songs at some point. There has been only one winner who has made something of their winning this show. Every one else turns into a nobody and you never hear from them again.
The only exception to this rule is William Hung whose genius had graced us briefly for only 3 albums.