I was watching Rage and they were showing an old episode of Count Down where John Travolta is promoting his new movie of that time, “Urban Cowboy”. Which is apparently good (I don’t know, I haven’t seen it). John Travolta is one of the biggest actors of our time alongside Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. He has an endless pit of money and is banging an abnormally attractive woman (maybe more than one). But even a man of this scope has made some bad decisions along the way.

Now I am not going to sit here and take the piss on ALL of his failures (epic or otherwise). No, that would take me far too long and the list would be ridiculously long. I have nothing against Mr. Travolta however everyone needs to be taken down a peg every now and again and I have 5 minutes to do a sample list.

This movie starts at a golf course. There is only two movies in all the world that start out here that are worth watching:
* Caddyshack and
* Happy Madison
And this movie is neither of those. Oh, did I mention this golf match is in heaven? Makes sense to me. Their game is interrupted by God (Gene Hackman - ya know, I knew it was him all along). This is the same man who is a Scientologist. God says to the angels, “Ok you tools, Earth has gone to shit. Flood it out and start again.”
The angel’s say they can change man’s way.
1. What do the angel’s care about Earth?
2. If they thought the world was going to shit in 1983 or whenever this was made, how fucked do they think the Earth is now? Things could be much worse than they are now. I reckon the angels would get sick of protesting God every time God says to flood Earth. Eventually God will say, “Ok, the Earth is fucked. Time to flood and start again. Anyone got any protests?”
“Nope. Doing it now, sir.” This protest could not be a once off surely.
3. What the fuck?
You’ve demonstrated yourself a competent actor/dancer. Please do not force this watered down, mediocre bullshit. I once gave my worst enemy a copy of this movie as a present. I took it back and apologised after I realised it was too harsh for anyone to sit through. I wouldn’t even wish this on my worst enemy.
John Travolta loves Scientology. That’s great and I am happy for you and perhaps you were pressured into this lemon from the Scientology society but ultimately, you should discarded this movie the moment you read the first page. You don’t have to do a 3-hour long film and bore people to death about shit that no one could care for.
As far as I can tell, this was to exploit the then-fashionable gym and fitness fad that was going on. The only problem is it is hardly a fad. It’s been 25 years later and it is still going on. What happened was a bunch of people woke up feeling guilty one morning and decided to get fit and open up a place for other people to be fit and tap in the guilt psyche of needing to be healthy.

There’s more but lets leave it here. I’m ok with this until later when I we go through some other well-known actors who make conscience decisions to act in some real lemons.